Songs of the Heart
by ful-of-faith
Summary: Buffy went to Faith's apartment when she was in prison. She found something that makes her forgive Faith. Songfic. also set around season 7. added chapter6
1. Songs of the heart

Songs of the heart  
  
AN: I got an idea on my head and I wanted to write it. Although I'm still finishing my other fic I just wanted to post this. I don't know if I'll continue this or not...anyway...Enjoy!  
  
############  
  
Buffy's POV  
  
I don't know what led me to go to her apartment. I don't know how many weeks have passed since I've seen her. She's on prison now in LA...where she belongs. At least that's what Angel told me. He also told me that she's changed and that I should give her another chance. Another chance?! I've given her so many chance but she's so stubborn being evil and all and decided to steal my body and sleep with my ex-boyfriend! And now she manipulated Angel and his gang into believing she's changed! I sometimes can't understand Angel. I mean she poisoned him and tried to kill him and now he's giving her a chance. I was so angry when I saw them in LA hugging each other. I don't know if I was jealous of her or...of Angel. Yeah...that's right...I loved her. That's why I'm so angry that she betrayed me! I trusted and then she sides with the mayor.   
  
I slowly opened the door to her apartment that the mayor gave her and stepped inside. Nothing's changed...though the window seems to be fixed. I slowly walked inside and looked at the window. That's where...I stabbed her. I still can't believe that I did that. But there was no other way right? I mean it's either her or Angel...and I choose her. It's easy to choose her...because she turned evil. Did I do the right thing? Did I really have to gut her in the stomach and left her in the hospital for eight months? I would probably be angry if someone gutted me and left me in the hospital without anyone caring what my condition is. But I care for her. I even visited her in the hospital a couple of days just to see how she's doing. But I guess she's too busy with the coma thing to notice that.  
  
I then walked around and noticed a cabinet in the corner. I opened it and found nothing. I guess she took everything. I then opened the drawer and saw a cd with my name on it. I picked it up and opened it. It was a cd alright. I looked at the back and looked at the songs that was listed but nothing is written there. I frowned and looked at the front again. My name was written on it. I wonder why? I took it and quickly went towards my house. I quickly went upstairs towards my room, opened my stereo and played it. Once it started playing the song...it reminded me of Faith...  
  
Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
  
_50,000 tears I cry  
Screaming,  
Deceiving,  
And bleeding for you  
And you still won't hear me  
...go away...  
Don't want your hand this time  
I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom   
  
I dive again  
I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning with you (drowning with you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm, going under   
  
Blurring and stirring the truth that comes out  
(I don't know what's real and what's not)  
Always confusing the thoughts is my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore   
  
I dive again  
I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning with you (drowning with you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through,  
I'm, so go on and scream  
Scream at me, so far away  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe  
I can't keep going under   
  
I dive again  
I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning with you (drowning with you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through,  
I'm, going under (going under)  
Going under (drowning with you)  
I'm going under  
  
_What is this? Why does it have my name on it? Why? I was asking that in my head as the song faded. It was replaced by another loud one.  
  
_Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
Why'd you turn away?  
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,  
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided   
  
Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,  
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone  
  
Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place  
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,  
you used to hug me  
But that wasn't the case  
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there  
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided  
_  
"I wonder where the music is being played. I never thought you were a fan of Evanescence and Avirl Lavigne's music..."  
  
I looked at the door and saw Dawn leaning at the door. She walked towards me and sat beside me. She saw the case of the cd and took it. She had her eyebrow raised.  
  
"There's a cd named Buffy? How come I never heard of it?"  
  
_Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,  
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone  
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud  
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud  
Open your eyes  
Open up wide  
  
Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there  
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
Why should I care  
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere  
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care were not going newhere   
  
_I took it away from her.  
  
"No...I found it at Faith's...apartment..."  
  
"What were you doing there?"  
  
I shrugged at her not really sure what the answer is. She looked at me while frowning.  
  
"She named it after you?"  
  
I shrugged again. Maybe...but...why? I shook my head as another song came up. It came up soft but then loud. I guess the cd really belonged to Faith. She really liked loud music...  
  
_I found the pieces in my hand   
They were always there   
It just took some time to understand   
You gave me words I just can't say   
So if nothing else   
I'll hold on while you drift away   
Cause everything you wanted me to hide   
Is everything that makes me feel alive   
  
Cities grow   
Rivers flow   
Where you are, I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one that's gone   
I'm still here   
Still here   
  
Seeing the ashes in my heart   
The smile the widest   
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart   
I tried to wear another face   
Just to make you proud   
Just to make you put me in my place   
But everything you wanted to take from me   
Is everything that I could never be   
  
Cities grow   
Rivers flow   
Where you are, I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one that's gone   
I'm still here   
  
Maybe tonight   
It's gonna be alright   
I will get better   
Maybe today   
It's gonna be okay   
I will remember   
I held the pieces of my soul   
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole   
When I saw you yesterday   
But you didn't noticed   
And you just walked away   
Cause everything you wanted me to hide   
Is everything that makes me feel alive   
  
Cities grow   
Rivers flow   
Where you are, I'll never know   
But I'm still here   
If you were right and I was wrong   
Why are you the one who's gone   
And I'm still here   
The lights go out, the bridges burn   
Once you're gone, you can't return   
I'm still here   
Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway   
But I'm still here  
  
_As the song slowly faded I looked at Dawn who was now laid on my pillow looking up at my ceiling.  
  
"Uh...what's the title of that song?"  
  
"It's 'I'm still here' by Vertical Horizon. You should really listen to the radio more..."  
  
I glared at her. I'm a slayer! I don't have time to listen to music when some demons are wrecking havoc in my town! I sighed and laid beside her. I waited and listened for the next song. I was surprised when I heard it. I never thought that Faith would be into this kind of music. I think it's called 'Tattooed on my mind'...   
  
_Maybe you soon  
Forget about all  
Or maybe you'll miss it like I do  
But one thing's for sure  
I'm all knocked out  
I spend too much time thinking of you  
  
And I can't get you out of my dreams  
Now I know you're the dangerous kind  
And your smile is tattooed on my mind  
'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams  
  
I don't wanna write  
I don't wanna call  
I would not know what to say  
It should be you  
That's how I want it to be  
Tell me you feel the same way  
  
And I can't get you out of my dreams  
Now I know you're the dangerous kind  
And your smile is tattooed on my mind  
And I can't get you out of my dreams, oh  
  
Oh yesterday  
I was feeling safe  
All I do today  
is trying to be brave  
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind  
Now I curse you for being  
So sweet and so kind  
  
And I can't get you out of my dreams  
Now I know you're the dangerous kind  
And your face is tattooed on my mind  
'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams  
Yes I know you're tattooed  
On my mind you're tattooed  
  
_It was nice. Dawn leaned at her elbow and looked down at me.  
  
"You know...I've been thinking..."  
  
I grinned at her.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes! Anyway...one of my friend told me that...songs expressed one's feelings. Maybe...maybe this is Faith's feelings...for you...she named the cd after you right?"  
  
I stared at her for awhile then looked at the ceiling again. Is Dawn right? Is this...is this Faith's feelings for me? The first three songs was about her hating me...and the fourth one was about...love? Is she telling me that she...she loves me? I shook my head as another song came up. Another love song...about not giving up on it.  
  
_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,   
Or tell you that.  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it   
where's the sense in that?   
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder   
Or return to where we were   
  
I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be   
  
I know I left too much mess and   
destruction to come back again   
And I caused nothing but trouble   
I understand if you can't talk to me again   
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"   
then I'm sure that that makes sense   
  
I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be   
_

_And when we meet   
Which I'm sure we will   
All that was there  
Will be there still   
I'll let it pass   
And hold my tongue   
And you will think   
That I've moved on....   
  
I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be   
I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be   
  
I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be  
_

I leaned at my elbow and looked at Dawn. I was about to ask her what was the title of the song when she said...  
  
"It's called 'White Flag' by Dido..."  
  
Maybe I should listen to the radio more often... I laid my head again at the pillow and closed my eyes. Another song was being played. Just like the other three it was another 'Faith' music. It was loud but...I understood the meaning of it... (Someday by Nickelback)  
  
_How the hell did we wind up like this  
Why weren't we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
And try to turn the tables  
_  
Yeah...I wonder too why we didn't see the signs and why we wound up like that. I never wanted to fight her but...she knew how to push the right buttons...  
  
_I wish you'd unclench your fists  
And unpack your suitcase  
Lately there's been too much of this  
Dont think its too late  
  
Nothin's wrong  
just as long as  
you know that someday I will  
  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
  
Well i hoped that since we're here anyway  
We could end up saying  
Things we've always needed to say  
So we could end up staying  
Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a hollywood horror  
  
Nothin's wrong  
just as long as  
you know that someday I will  
  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
  
[Solo]  
  
How the hell did we wind up like this  
Why weren't we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
And try to turn the tables  
Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a hollywood horror  
  
Nothin's wrong  
just as long as  
you know that someday I will  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
I know you're wondering when  
_

'You're the only one who knows that'...That line is somehow stuck on my mind. I guess it is up to me when that day will come. Will it be tomorrow...a month...a year until I forgive her? Why is it that I hated her in the first place? Oh yeah...because she threatened my family...friends and lover to death...and...betrayed me. That's why I can't forgive her... But Angel forgive her...why can't I? I shook my head and decided to think later as another song came up... It was a soft one...a very soft one...totally unFaith like...but then again...I don't seem to know her anymore...(One Last Cry by Brian Mcknight)  
  
_My shattered dreams and broken heart  
Are mending on the shelf  
I saw you holding hands  
Standing close to someone else  
Now I sit all alone  
Wishing all my feelings was gone  
I gave my best to you  
Nothing for me to do  
But have one last cry  
_

_[Chorus:]  
One last cry  
Before I leave it all behind  
I gotta put you out of my mind this time  
Stop living a lie  
I guess I'm down to my last cry  
  
Cry.....  
  
I was here  
You were there  
Guess we never could agree  
While the sun shines on you  
I need some love to rain on me  
Still I sit all alone  
Wishing all my feelings was gone  
Gotta get over you  
Nothing for me to do  
But have one last cry  
  
[Chorus:]  
  
One last cry  
Before I leave it all behind  
I goota put you out of my mind  
For the very last time   
Been living a lie  
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down  
I guess I'm down...  
I guess I'm down...  
To my last cry...   
_  
She gave up on me...she gave up her love... I clenched my teeth hard trying to control my anger. I then noticed that my cheek is wet. I gently moved my hand to my cheek and found out that I was crying. Why was I crying? Because she gave up her love without even trying. She's a coward! I felt Dawn's hand holding mine. I turn to look at her but she had her eyes closed. I gripped her hand tight and tried to stop crying but...the tears just keeps on falling. I closed my eyes and just listened to the next song. It just made me cry more...(The Reason by Hoobastank)  
  
_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know  
  
I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you  
_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
Thats why i need you to hear  
_

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is You [x4]  
  
I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know  
_

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you  
I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you  
  
_I couldn't take it anymore that I laid my head on Dawn's shoulder and cried. She held me tight trying to make me calm down.   
  
############  
  
Faith's POV  
  
I'm laying on my the upper bunk with my hands resting on my head as a pillow. I'm bored! I've inside this stupid jail for...4 months now! I know I can escape in here but...I'm not gonna. I know it's stupid but...what the hell. Nobody wants me outside of this prison anyway...not even her. I can't seem to get the picture of Buffy and Beefstick on my head. That was when I woke up from that coma that she sent me. That was for Angel and then when I woke up she broke up with him?! I was so mad and jealous that I did what was easier. Be evil. Since that's what they expect me to do anyway. Ahh to hell with it! It's in the past so it should stay there! I sighed and closed my eyes. I was about to fall asleep when the guard tapped he bar with his handy dandy stick.   
  
"Faith! You've got a visitor!"  
  
Oh goody...another visit from Angel. I wonder how soul boy is doing. I stood up and followed the guard towards the phones are. I slowly walked towards the booth smiling. I walked towards the end booth and stopped smiling. I think I turned into a cold blooded coz I felt cold, from head to toe. Why the hell is she here??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shook my head as she tapped the glass and pointed towards the phone. I took a deep breath, tried to calm myself and pick up the phone. I smiled at her trying to ease the tension that's building.  
  
"Hey B! Nice of you to visit! Miss me?"  
  
She rolled her eyes and glared at me. I guess she didn't come here for a heart to heart talk...  
  
"Let's cut the crap Faith and tell me what the hell is this?"  
  
She held up a cd that has her name on it. SHIT!!!! I thought I lost that cd!!! How the hell did she got it?! I sighed again and kept my usual smile.  
  
"You came all this way just to ask that? And here I thought you're going to share your little life with me..."  
  
Still glaring...  
  
"Cut the crap and answer me."  
  
"Okay, okay...keep your pink panties on B...you want me to tell you what that is? Okay...it's a cd. You know the one that plays music."  
  
Still glaring with a little bit of clenching her teeth.  
  
"You know what I mean Faith! Tell me what's the meaning of this!"  
  
I sighed again tired of being a bitch. I closed my eyes trying not to .  
  
"It's...it's what I feel for you B...all my feelings for you are there...but I know you already know that huh...?"  
  
Silence...too much silence. I can't seem to look at her but when I did...she had her eyes closed and I think she's thinking. I sighed again and looked at her.  
  
"B? You alright?"  
  
She sighed and opened her eyes to look at me. She's not glaring at me anymore. That's good.  
  
"The song...One last cry...when did you felt that?"  
  
I looked away from her as I remember the song.  
  
"It's when I woke up from the coma...I saw you and Beef- I mean Riley in the magic box..."   
  
"Why...why didn't you tell me?"  
  
I looked at her this time. No more lies and secrets...  
  
"Tell you what B? That I was in love with you and that it hurt me when you choose Angel and Riley over me? That I tried to reach out to you when I killed Alan but you were to fucking busy about Angel to help me?"  
  
She's shocked about what I said. She then looked down not looking at me. I was getting tired of this...  
  
"B...let's just stop this okay? I'm tired...tired of fighting you. I just want peace. I know you said you'll beat me up if I apologize but...I don't care anymore if you'll kill me...do it if you want. But I'm still sorry for all the shit that I did to you...I'm sorry...for hurting you. Sorry if I let you down..."  
  
She closed her eyes again, thinking. It took her a minute to look at me again. This is where she'll say that 'you had your chance Faith and you blew it...' but instead she said...  
  
"I'll try...I don't know if I could forgive you but...I'll try."  
  
I smiled at her and well...she smiled back. She looked at the cd again.  
  
"I guess I should return this to you..."  
  
"Nah...keep it for awhile until I get out of here and get it from you..."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Okay...but you know...I also had a song for you..."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"It's 'Officially Missing You' by Tamia..."  
  
I don't know that song...it's been a while since I had some music around here. She took out a letter and handed it to the guard. She looked back at me smiling.  
  
"It's in there..."  
  
I nodded and heard the guard come near me. He handed it to me and said...  
  
"It's time to go..."  
  
I nodded and looked at Buffy. She had this sad look on her face. I smiled trying to make her smile.  
  
"I guess I'll be seeing you B..."  
  
"I'll visit you soon."  
  
That made me smile more. I stood up and walk towards where the door towards my cell is. I trun to look at B one last time and see that she's doing the same. I smiled at her and she forced a smile.  
  
As soon as I was out of her sight, I opened the envelope and looked at the paper inside.  
  
Faith,  
  
The moment I heard your cd, I can't help but think of all the things that happened to us. All the good and bad. Dawn made me realize that holding a grudge is bad for the health so I, decided to give you the 'I'll think about it' routine. I want to forgive you but, please give me more time to get to know you again since you've changed. Anyway, there's a song attached here that made me think of you. I hope you like it. And I hope you understand. I'll visit you whenever I can, I promise you that. Until then, be good so that you could get the hell out of there.  
  
Always,  
  
B.  
  
_Officially Missing You  
  
By: Tamia  
  
All I hear is raindrops  
Falling on the rooftop  
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go  
Cause this pain I feel  
It wont go away  
And today I'm officially missing you  
I thought that from this heartache  
I could escape  
But I fronted long enough to know  
There ain't no way  
And today  
I'm officially missing you  
  
Oh can't nobody do it like you  
Said every little thing you do  
Hey baby say it stays on my mind  
And I, I'm officially_

_All I do is lay around  
Two years full of tears  
From looking at your face on the wall  
Just a week ago you were my baby  
Now I don't even know you at all  
I don't know you at all  
Well I wish that you would call me right now  
So that I could get through to you somehow  
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say  
That I'm officially missing you  
  
Oh can't nobody do it like you  
Said every little thing you do  
Hey baby say it stays on my mind  
And I, I'm officially  
  
Well I thought I could just get over you baby  
But I see that's something I just can't do  
From the way you would hold me  
To the sweet things you told me  
I just can't find a way  
To let go of you  
  
Oh can't nobody do it like you  
Said every little thing you do  
Hey baby say it stays on my mind  
And I, I'm officially  
It official  
You know that I'm missing you  
Yeah yes  
All I hear is raindrops  
And I'm officially missing you  
  
_I can't help but smile as I read the letter. She missed me...and I also missed her. I guess it'll take her quite a long time to forgive but...the hell with it...I've got a long time till I get out of here anyway...  
  
End...or should I make a sequel???


	2. Feelings

Feelings...

AN: This is the chapter 2 of Songs of the Heart. This took place in Season 7. AU. The songs are 'Everytime' by Britney Spears and 'Invisible Man' by 98 Degrees.  
  
Pairing: Spike/Buffy (implied) Faith/Buffy Kennedy/Willow  
  
###########  
  
Faith's POV  
  
It's been almost 9 months since visited me in prison. At first she visited almost every week but suddenly that stopped. I don't know why. Maybe because she didn't tell me. I guess she didn't trust me. Who would trust someone like me anyhow? Anyway after a couple of months of her not visiting, I've decided to just move on and forget about her. Yeah right! Like I would! Well to tell you the truth...I almost did. When Wesley told me Angelus is back I stopped thinking about her and just thought of soul boy needing my help. So I escaped and help Angel get back to his old self. After that was over I thought I could stay there and help them with all the demons lurking in LA. But then Willow appeared and well...told me that she needed help. She needed help...that's the only thing that entered my mind...so here I am...back in Sunnyhell...back to her.   
  
At first I never thought I'd go back here. I want to let go of my past and move on. And that past is Buffy...but no...my past keeps on dragging me back. I sighed. Hey at least Willow forgave me. I was really shocked when she told me she killed a person...or rather skinned him alive. I guess we were alike...Red and I. We sided at the dark side and well...killed someone. At least she had a reason. Her girlfriend Tara was killed by that person. That's a good reason right? But what about me? What's my reason? Jealousy... Not really a good reason huh? Me being jealous of soul boy and the Scooby gang that I decided to betray them...and her. Hey stop thinking of the past and move on right? The past is the past and that's where it'll be.  
  
Anyway...I found Buffy at the cemetery with Spike. She said he got a soul. Another soul boy...that she cares about. I can tell that they're an item from what I can see in his eyes. So...she's taken again...by another vampire. I don't know why she likes vampires so much. I mean they're dead. I shook my head and decided to just leave it...though the the pain in my heart just keeps on getting bigger. Hey stop thinking about your emotions and just concentrate on helping her so we could get out of here. It hurts...but I gotta deal right? I looked at her for awhile and I can't help but feel that she's...somewhat different. Not in the physical way coz...she still so fucking beautiful. I don't what it is but there is really something different about her.   
  
We were heading towards her house and well...she didn't say anything. So I didn't say anything too. In fact...I just want to get the hell away from her. I shook my head slightly and she noticed.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Uh...yeah...just tired."  
  
"You can sleep in the house you know..."  
  
Sleep in your house while your making out with a vampire?! No way... I frowned and looked at her.  
  
"I don't think that's such a good idea..."  
  
She smiled a little.  
  
"Don't worry...everyone will forgive you like I did..."  
  
Did? Meaning she forgave me in the past? I guess she thought I was afraid of what everyone will say if I sleep there. But...I don't give a damn about what other people think. I just shrugged.  
  
"Your the boss B..."  
  
So we continued walking until we reached her house. I stepped inside and looked around. Still the same. I noticed girl looking at me, smiling. She had a long brown hair and well...she looked like Buffy...just a little taller though...so I'm guessing this is Dawn.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
I just looked at her and smiled a little. I really don't know her that well but Buffy told me that she knew me. It was kinda weird actually. I thought that she'll be a little...I don't know...younger. I mean she's a teenager now. How is that possible when Ms. S wasn't pregnant when I was still sane...at least that's what I remember.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
I was surprised when she ran towards me and hugged me. I looked at Buffy and she just shrugged. I then wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. I'm really not much of a hugging person but...just for today...I'll make an exemption.   
  
"I forgive you..."  
  
She forgives me? But...I didn't do anything to her...did I? I pulled away slightly and smiled at her. Better not freak her out, although I'm already freaked out.  
  
"Uh...thanks..."  
  
She smiled again.  
  
"This is so cool! We're gonna have so much fun tonight! You gotta tell me all the things that happened to you and I'll tell you mine."  
  
Okay...I'm freaking out here...I looked at Buffy and she seemed to understand what I was thinking. She moved closer to Dawn and tapped her on the back.  
  
"Dawn...Why don't you make something for Faith to eat."  
  
She nodded and hugged me again.  
  
"This is great...the chosen two together again..."  
  
She pulled away and walked towards the kitchen. The chosen two...it's been awhile since I heard that. But we're definitely not together again. I looked at floor and Buffy laid her hand on my back.  
  
"I know this is all confusing to you but...I promise I'll tell it to you okay?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"Nah...I think I understand most of it..."  
  
She nodded and looked up the stairs.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower...you going to be alright alone?"  
  
"Yeah B...don't worry about me. I'm a big girl now."  
  
She smiled at me and I smiled back. She then walked towards the stairs and I just headed towards the kitchen. There was Dawn taking out a pizza on the ref. I took a seat to the counter and looked at her as she put the whole pizza in the microwave. She then turned to me and smiled.  
  
"It's really good to see you Faith...I missed you."  
  
I smiled at her.  
  
"Missed you too squirt..."  
  
"I missed that..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You calling me squirt..."  
  
Oh...then that means I called her squirt before? It feels like it... I smiled as she took the whole pizza out of the microwave and offered it to me. I took a slice and began to eat it. It's been awhile since I've eaten some pizza. She looked at me leaning her head on her hand and looking at me as I'm eating. I think this girl has a crush on me or something...  
  
"So...tell me what you've doing these past few months..."  
  
I shrugged and told her everything that happened inside the prison and also what happened to Angel.  
  
###########  
  
Buffy's POV  
  
I went inside my room and took a cold shower. I just thought that if I took a cold shower then I would stop thinking about Faith. But it didn't work. I'm still thinking about her. When I saw her in the cemetery I felt my heart beating fast. She's actually here... I haven't forgotten about her. How could I when I loved her. I think...I still do. I know I haven't seen her for couple of months now...but that's because I was too busy feeling dead and all. But not once did I stop thinking about her. She's probably mad at me for not visiting her...who wouldn't? I stepped out of the shower and dried myself. I slowly went out of the bathroom with a towel on my body and looked for something to wear. I looked inside and found some shirt and a short. I began to dress myself and decided to look at what Faith is doing. I quickly headed downstairs and looked around. Faith isn't here. Then I heard Dawn's voice in the kitchen. I slowly walked towards it and heard what she's saying.  
  
"Really?! Wow! You really did a good job huh?"  
  
I moved beside the door and tried to listen to their conversation. I'm a little jealous though. She's opening up to Dawn and Angel...but she never opened herself to me.  
  
"Yep! When it was over...I was hoping to stay there...but...Willow came and told me about the big bad thats happening in SunnyD..."  
  
No one talked for awhile. I was about to come in there when Kennedy spotted me.  
  
"Hey Buffy...whatcha doing there?"  
  
I froze for awhile. You know...Kennedy reminds me of Faith back then. She's similar and at the same time...different. Both of them have the 'bad ass' attitude. I sighed and took her hand and went inside the kitchen. Faith and Dawn looked at both of us as we entered.   
  
"Faith...this is Kennedy...Willow's girlfriend..."  
  
She grinned at Kennedy and shook her hand.   
  
"Nice to meet ya Ken...so you're Red's girlfriend...she kinda told me...or should I say babbled me things about you...sorry I don't remember them all because the words were too fast for me to understand..."  
  
I couldn't help but giggle. She's right though...when Willow babbles, sometimes I don't understand her so I just nod my head. I looked at Kennedy and she's grinning too.  
  
"So you're Faith...the dark slayer..."  
  
I frowned at her. Dark...does that mean evil? Coz Faith is not evil now...is she? Faith looked at me still grinning.  
  
"Hey it's alright B...I kinda like it."  
  
I smiled and Kennedy just kept on grinning.  
  
"Well it's nice meeting you Faith...maybe sometime we can...train together..."  
  
"I'd like that a lot..."  
  
She nodded and headed towards her room. Faith still kept on looking at her as she exit the kitchen. She then turned to me and Dawn and began to stretch. I can't help but look at her body as she did that.  
  
###########  
  
Faith's POV  
  
I started stretching and I seem to noticed Buffy's eyes travel up and down looking at my body. I stopped stretching and looked at her grinning. She looked away and I noticed a faint blush on her cheek. Gotcha B...you like that huh? I looked at Dawn.  
  
"Thanks for the food squirt...but I'm kinda tired now so I think I'm gonna sleep now..."  
  
She nodded and smiled.  
  
"Your welcome Faith...you can sleep in my room if you want...I don't mind."  
  
Buffy then looked at her frowning.  
  
"No Dawn...I think she's going to sleep in my room..."  
  
Dawn then looked at her frowning.  
  
"Well...why don't we make Faith to choose where she wants to sleep?"  
  
Both of them looked at me at the same time waiting my answer where I want to sleep. Wow...the Summers sisters fighting over me. Who to choose who to choose... If I sleep with Dawn...I probably wouldn't sleep at all. She'll probably let me talk about my life again. As for Buffy...I also wouldn't get to sleep too. I mean I would probably too busy looking at her face rather than sleep. So that means that whoever I choose...I wouldn't be able to sleep. Okay better go with plan b...  
  
"Uh...maybe I should just go to a motel and-"  
  
I was surprised when they both said...  
  
"NO!"  
  
At the same time. Guess plan b didn't work...better go with plan c...it always work.  
  
"Then I'll just sleep at the couch then..."  
  
Before both of them answer I walked towards the living room and laid at the couch. Buffy then walked out of the kitchen and looked at me.  
  
"If you're going to sleep there I'm going to get you some blankets. Oh and would you some of my clothes for you to wear?"  
  
I'm going to wear Buffy's clothes? Sure! Why the hell not! I smiled at her and sat up.  
  
"Sure..."  
  
She nodded and headed towards her room. I waited for her for awhile and when she returned with some blankets and clothes I took her clothes and went to the bathroom. She gave me a white fitting shirt and a black short. I began to undress myself and put on Buffy's clothes. When I went out of the bathroom the blankets were in the sofa. I guess she went to her room already...so much for a goodnight. I laid in the sofa really tired and closed my eyes. It wasn't long when I finally dozed off.  
  
###########  
  
I can hear music. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Oh yeah...I'm at Buffy's house, sleeping at her couch. I slowly closed my eyes and tried to sleep again...but the song just keeps on playing. It's kinda soft...I wonder who's playing it...  
  
__

_Notice me  
Take my hand  
Why are we  
Strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me?_

  
  
I then sat up and looked around again. Who's playing that damn song?! _Everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you baby_

_  
  
_Ugh! Now I'm thinking of Buffy again! Gotta get out of here. I quickly stood up and headed towards the backyard door. I closed the door quietly and was surprised to see Spike sitting at the steps. He looked at me grinning.  
  
"Not much of a Britney fan?"  
  
I grinned at him and sat beside him. He was smoking.  
  
"Nah...that song just brings back some of my past..."  
  
He offered me some cigarettes and I took one. He lighted it for me and I can't help but smile at him while breathing out some smokes. Guess he's not that bad of a guy...or a vampire. I looked up at him but he's just looking up.  
  
"How about you? Not much of a music lover?"  
  
He smirked and looked at me.   
  
"Well I do listen to some music but...not that kind! But at least it's Dawn who's playing it. If it were Buffy she'll just play that damn cd over and over again..."  
  
Cd? I wonder what cd he's talking about? Maybe its the cd that I...nah. Not Buffy...she'll only play it once. I shook my head slightly and focused on looking at him.  
  
"About Buffy...you two an item now?"  
  
She smiled looked at the ground for awhile then looked up at me.  
  
"Was...but I wouldn't call it an item..."  
  
I frowned not getting what he's saying.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I love her but...she said she's just using me...and that she could never love me."  
  
Ouch...that kinda hurt. I never thought Buffy would say those nasty things but...  
  
"What do you mean using? Using you for what?"  
  
"For sex..."  
  
Double ouch. Buffy having a one night stand? What the hell happened while I was in prison? What made her do those things? Why would she use Spike for sex? Too many questions keep entering my mind. But another thing that entered my mind and it seems that it's stuck inside: 'Buffy having sex with Spike.' Kinda hurt...her choosing again some besides me. I sigh and just looked up at the dark sky.   
  
##########  
  
Buffy's POV  
  
Ugh! That Dawn playing her Britney cd again!! I tossed and turn trying not to hear that music. I don't know why but...it made me think of Faith again...  
  
__

_I make believe  
That you are here  
It's the only way  
I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move on easy_

_And everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby  
  
I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song is my sorry  
  
Ohhhh  
  
At night I pray  
That soon your face  
Will fade away  
And everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby_

_  
  
_Faith...I never did stop thinking about her. I shook my head and put a pillow on my head trying not to hear the music. Soon the music fadded. I sighed and removed the pillow on my head. I looked at the ceiling for awhile thinking of Faith when I heard another one of Dawn's cd. I groaned and sat up.  
  
###########  
  
Faith's POV  
  
I told Spike that I'm going back to bed and he just said...  
  
'Good luck sleeping...'  
  
I frowned as he said that and made my way inside the house. I was glad when I didn't hear anything. Just peace and quiet. I smiled as I made my way to the couch. I stopped dead as I heard another song. It just made me think about Buffy and her boy toys more...  
  
__

_You can hardly wait to tell all your friends  
How his kisses taste sweet like wine  
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat  
Everytime he walks by_

Angel...that's what she felt when they were still in love...

__

_And if your feelin down  
He'll pick you up  
He'll hold you close when your makin' love  
He's everything you've been dreamin' of  
Oh baby_

Riley...Spike...when they were making love to her. I couldn't take it anymore and slowly made my way towards the stairs. Just when I was turning I heard a door close and saw Buffy looking at me.

_I wish you'd look at me that way  
Your beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine  
Tellin' me more  
Than any words could say  
But you don't even know I'm alive  
Baby to you all I am  
Is the invisible man  
  
You don't see me baby_

_  
  
_Yeah...you never did look at me...at least not like when you look at Angel and Riley... She just looked at me for awhile then frowned.  
  
"Faith? What are you doing here?"

_You probly spend hours on the phone  
Talkin bout nothin' at all  
It doesn't matter what the conversation  
Just as long as he calls  
Lost in a love so real  
And so sincere  
And you'll wipe away  
Each others tears  
Your face lights up whenever he appears_

_  
  
_I just looked at the ground as the song is being played. I feel stupid. I can really relate to that song. She did treated me like I'm not there...I shook my head and looked at her forcing a smile.  
  
"I...couldn't sleep..."

_I wish you'd look at me that way  
Your beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine  
Tellin' me more  
Than any words could say  
But you don't even know I'm alive  
Baby to you all I am  
Is the invisible man  
  
_

"Did Dawn woke you up?"

_I see you all the time baby  
Huh, the way you look at him  
I wish it was me sweetheart  
Boy I wish it was me  
But I guess it never will be_

_  
  
_I gritted my teeth and looked away trying not to cry infront of her. It doesn't matter anyway...she can barely see me without the lights on. The only thing that make me see her was the moonlight from her window.  
  
"Yeah..."

_Oh oh oh  
oh baby  
The invisible man  
You don't see me girl  
But I love you  
Yes I love you  
The invisible man  
Oh oh oh  
Ya ya  
The invisible man  
Baby, baby, baby_

_  
  
_"Okay..."  
  
She slowly made her way towards Dawn's room and knocked on it. Dawn opened it frowning.  
  
"Buffy? What are doing here? What's wrong?"  
  
I heard her sigh.  
  
"Dawn will you keep it down? Some people here are trying to sleep...like Faith?"  
  
She pointed towards me and Dawn looked at me for awhile.  
  
"Sorry...I couldn't sleep and I thought..."  
  
I smiled at her.  
  
"No biggie...just...keep it down okay?"  
  
She nodded and closed her door. Then there was silence again. Buffy was still standing there looking at me...but I can't look at her. Too much pain inside. I turn towards the stairs and stopped when I heard her voice.  
  
"Um...Goodnight Faith..."  
  
I glanced at her and forced a smile.   
  
"Yeah...you too..."  
  
I then slowly walked downstairs and laid down the couch trying to get some sleep. I just hope that I do get some sleep...and stop thinking about my 'past'.


	3. Jealousy

**Chapter 3  
**  
_AN: Since so many people wanted me to make an update with this story…I decided to make an update. The reason I wasn't updating this story because this story has another sequel entitled 'Bodyguard.' The 'Songs of the Heart' is going to be a short one with a couple of chapters to go. It's like I'm just reviewing the things that happened in Season 7 and changed it. I don't know if you guys are going to like it or not but…I guess there's only one way to find out right?! Anyway…here goes!  
  
__**Buffy's POV  
**_  
I woke up early today. Of course I have to wake up early…I am the leader of this group right? Who am I kidding…the only reason I woke up early was because I wanted to see Faith. I wanted to make sure if she's really here…or if it's a dream. I stretched for awhile trying to wake my body. My body still wants to sleep but my heart seems to be awake pounding loudly…excited to see Faith's face. I smiled and got to my feet and went towards the door. I stopped just before moving out and quickly went inside again looking at the mirror.  
  
_'Hmm…everything looks okay…hair…face…breath…Ok, time to see Faith!'  
_  
I couldn't help but smile as I slowly and quietly walked downstairs. I can feel my heart pounding as I took a step on the stairs, one by one.  
  
_'Geeez…I feel like a high school girl having a crush with someone…'  
_  
I smiled and tip toed towards the couch. As I got nearer…my heart started to pound loudly. That's what Faith does to me, even when I first met her in the alley. I was so captured by her that I was speechless. I always tried to act cool in front of her as I got to know her. I tried to ignore my feelings by meeting Angel. It worked. When I'm with Angel, I seem to forget her. It's the same when I'm with her. I forget Angel…and everyone. The only thing that I thought when I'm with her was the two of us…alone. Nothing else matters to me when I'm alone with her. She's like a drug that makes me forget things…a drug that helps me to feel happy…safe…and loved.  
  
The moments that I loved spending with her were when we were in the cemetery. I loved the way that she flirted with me. That's when I thought that she too have some feelings for me. I stopped thinking about that when she goes to the bronze with her 'get some get gone' attitude. I realized that she doesn't really have any feelings for me…that she only flirted with me for fun.  
  
_'But I guess…I was wrong…she does love me…is she still in love with me?'  
_  
I stopped at the back of the couch and looked down at her. She was facing the ceiling or rather…she was facing me. She had her lips slightly open and was quietly snoring.  
  
_'She looks so peaceful…God how I wanted to kiss that lips of hers…'  
  
_I smiled and gently brushed the strand of hair away from her face. She smiled slightly murmuring something and faced away from me. If she moves again I think she'll fall off the couch with her head first. I couldn't help but giggle at the cuteness of it.  
  
"Having fun watching your girlfriend?"  
  
I quickly turn to the stairs looking at Kennedy who had her arms crossed, smirking. I moved slightly away from the couch feeling my face hot with embarrassment of being caught.  
  
_'I didn't know she wakes up this early…'  
_  
I frowned.  
  
"S-She's not my girlfriend!"  
  
She shrugged and walked towards me grinning.  
  
"Sure she isn't…whatever you say Buff…"  
  
I continue to frown at her trying to act cool of the situation…  
  
"I told you she's not my girlfriend! And besides…what are you doing getting up this early?"  
  
She continues to grin at me. I wanted to do something to remove that grinning face of hers.  
  
"Ooooh…changing the topic. Nice one…"  
  
I glared at her.  
  
"Don't push it…"  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"Fine fine…I won't. Anyway…it's not that early anyway…it's already 8 in the morning…"  
  
"Oh…"  
  
_'Well…8 is a little early for me to wake up anyway…'  
_  
"Awww man! And here I thought I was the first person to wake up!"  
  
We quickly look at the stairs to find Andrew carrying his video camera on his hand. He walked towards us opening his camera. I frowned.  
  
"Why are you so early?"  
  
"I wanted to capture some footage of the dark slayer…heard she was here now."  
  
He moved in front of us and looked down at the couch video tapping Faith as she sleeps.  
  
"Is that her?"  
  
Andrew slowly moved his camera downwards capturing Faith's entire body…especially her exposed legs. I shook my head and pulled Andrew away from Faith.  
  
"Hey stop that!"  
  
I continue to pull Andrew away from Faith. Kennedy just continues to look at Faith and I can tell that she was mesmerized at the sight.  
  
"Wow…she's beautiful…now I know what you see in her Buffy…"  
  
As I pull Andrew away from Faith I looked at Kennedy who was still gawking at her.  
  
"Hey stop that or I'll tell Willow!"  
  
Kennedy just shrugged.  
  
"Alright…geeez…it's not like I'm touching her or anything…stop being so jealous…"  
  
_'I wasn't jealous…was I?'  
_  
Maybe I was…maybe I wasn't. I just don't want them looking at Faith like that. Maybe I am jealous. Kennedy swayed her hips intentionally causing the couch to move. As I thought earlier…she did fell…head first. The three of us, including Andrew's video camera, quickly looked at her in the floor moving and groaning. She grabbed the ledge of the couch and pulled herself up in a sitting position. She looked around and finally found the three of us looking at her.  
  
"B?"  
  
I smiled at her and found her absolutely cute. Her hair messed up…her eyes trying to focus…and her body very visible with the tight clothes that I lend her. I was about to say something when Kennedy beat me to it.  
  
"Morning Faith…"  
  
I frowned at her. She's grinning at Faith! I wanted to remove her grin again. Faith just looked at her confused.  
  
"W-what the hell…"  
  
Before she can finish what she was saying, Andrew waved at her causing her to look at him. He still had his video camera on and was video tapping Faith.  
  
"Hi Faith…I'm Andrew…nice to meet you…"  
  
She looked at Andrew for awhile. Her confused face turned into a frown. She quickly grabbed a pillow and threw it to Andrew's face causing him to fall down. Kennedy and I couldn't help but look at Andrew who was groaning in pain.  
  
"Wow…and here I thought she's rusty with being imprisoned and all…"  
  
I couldn't help but nod at Kennedy. Faith does look like she's in top shape. I thought she'll be a little rusty when it comes to being a slayer. I guess I was wrong…seeing how she handled Andrew even if she's half asleep. She slowly stood up and began to stretch. I just continue to look at her as her shirt began to ride up whenever she began to stretch her arms upward. I quickly looked away as she looked at me.  
  
"Something wrong B?"  
  
I shook my head and moved towards the kitchen trying to act normal.  
  
"Uh…nothing…everything's fine. I…I'm just going to make some breakfast…"  
  
_'Nice excuse Buffy…pretty nice and smooth. I think I'll give myself 10 out of 100 for that performance…'  
_  
_**Faith's POV  
**_  
_'Well that's weird…'  
_  
I shrugged my thoughts away and walked towards the person who was still laid on the ground groaning. I crouched down and removed the pillow on his face.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
"Please don't hurt me…"  
  
I grinned at him evilly.  
  
"Oh I don't know…I was thinking of skinning you alive…but since you asked so nicely…I'll do it later."  
  
He quickly moved away from me and hid behind Kennedy's feet. If I didn't know any better…I think this guy is a girl at heart or something.  
  
"Hey…I'm just kidding…I'm reformed if you haven't heard…"  
  
I offered my hand to him and he slowly took it. I pulled him up to his feet.  
  
"Sorry about the whole pillow throwing…It's just that…I don't like people video tapping me this early in the morning. Kinda makes me want to kill that person."  
  
He moved back slightly and I can't help but laugh at his face. This guy is so easy to tease…I could make him pee in his pants if I teased him more…  
  
"Kidding again…I think I'm going to head to the backyard to do some real stretching…see ya guys in a few…"  
  
I quickly walked towards the backyard noticing Kennedy following me.  
  
_'Maybe to watch me train or something…'  
_  
Buffy's POV  
  
Everyone's watching as Faith train in the backyard. Andrew's telling them some stories that are half true and some are…a bit exaggerated. I continue to eat as they gawk at Faith…or should I say… 'The Dark Slayer.'  
  
"Oooh…so that's the dark slayer…"  
  
"Yeah…I heard she killed someone and turned against Buffy…"  
  
"Really? Why did she turn against Buffy?"  
  
"I don't know…but I heard that Faith was tired of being Buffy's lapdog that she decided to turn against her. I don't know if that's true…"  
  
"It's probably true…"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
I couldn't help but frown at their conversation.  
  
_'That's not true! Faith didn't turn against me because I was pushing her too much! No! It's completely different! It's because…'  
  
_I frowned as I tried to think of the reason she did all those hurtful things to me. Now that I think about it…I didn't know why she did those things. I continue to frown looking for an answer. I was thinking so hard that I didn't notice Xander sitting beside me and waving his hand.  
  
"Hey! Buff….earth to Buff…you alright?"  
  
I shook my head dismissing all those thoughts and smiled at him.  
  
"Sorry Xander…I was just…thinking about something…"  
  
He smiled and took a sip of his coffee.  
  
"That's alright…I guess you're not the only one thinking of good things…"  
  
He looked at the girls that were looking at Faith through the window. He looked back at me and gave me a wink.  
  
"You know…I wouldn't blame them for admiring Faith's beauty…I was like that back then too you know…"  
  
I smiled at him as I remembered those days. He's right. He kept on looking at Faith whenever she was around. But…I really don't know the reason why he stopped looking at her one day. His eyes kept on twitching whenever we mentioned her name. That was before Faith sided with the mayor…  
  
"Then she just threw me away after I slept with her. I felt used…I thought we could be…you know…lovers or something…but then she just went to the mayor turning evil…"  
  
Oh…so that's the reason why he stopped. He sle------- HE SLEPT WITH HER????!!!!! I frowned and looked at Xander trying to act calm even though my mind is saying to punch the hell out of something.  
  
"So…um…you…sl-slept with her?"  
  
"Yeah…didn't I tell you that? She was my first…"  
  
OH MY GOD!!! Faith and Xander…slept together…without me knowing it?!!!!!  
  
'Maybe that's why Xander's eye kept on twitching whenever we called her name.'  
  
I felt my anger slowly rising up. Who was I angry? Was it Faith or Xander? Probably both. Why didn't they tell that they slept together? Where was I when that happened? I was thinking all those things. It was getting noisy with all the girls giggling at what Andrew was saying. I stood up and glared at them.  
  
"Enough with the chattering there! Go to your rooms and prepare for the lecture later!"  
  
Some of them frowned and turned away walking out of the kitchen. I quickly sat down the chair and took a sip of my coffee.  
  
"Geez Buff…I think you should lessen your coffee…"  
  
I glared at him.  
  
"Tell Faith and Kennedy to get their butts in here and get some breakfast…"  
  
I know he can tell that he shouldn't joke around when I'm this angry and serious. He just nodded and walked away leaving me glaring at the mug that I'm holding.  
  
**Faith's POV  
**  
I was practicing Tai-chi and Kennedy is watching me curious as to how I was in prison. I told her everything that I was doing there. Minding my own business and exercising every morning…sometimes I was beating someone because they were beating someone else…which I was blamed for that they send me to my cell without anything to eat. Oh and let's not forget the whole, me getting attacked with a very weird girl that had the very same knife as to what Buffy used to stab me in the stomach. Of course I didn't tell her that. The only person that I told was Red. I shook my thoughts away as I did some moves. Kennedy looked at the window looking at the girls who were chattering and giggling as they watched me move. It's kinda flattering actually…especially when I kept hearing Andrew's tale about me. He made me sound cool…  
  
"You're pretty famous for an ex-convict…"  
  
I grinned at her.  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"Why would I be jealous? I got everything I want…friends…me being a potential slayer…and a very sexy girlfriend…what more can I ask for?"  
  
I think she's trying to tell that to my face. I just smirked at her. I kinda like this kid. She reminds me of myself back then. So carefree and doesn't give a damn what anybody thinks. I continue my moves as I heard Buffy's voice. I looked at Kennedy for awhile and she just shrugged.  
  
"I guess it's about time General Buffy barks again…"  
  
I couldn't help but laugh at what she said. So that's what they call her here. I was still laughing when Xander suddenly showed up.  
  
"Hey Faith…Kennedy! Buffy said that you guys should get some breakfast!"  
  
Kennedy walked inside and I followed her. As I passed Xander I couldn't help but smile as he said…  
  
"Be careful Faith…Buffy's fuse has just been lightened…Oh yeah…welcome back too."  
  
I looked at him and gave him a grin and a wink.  
  
"Thanks Xman…it's good to be back…"  
  
Me and Kennedy were chatting as we entered the kitchen. We stopped talking as I looked at Buffy who had her 'Don't mess with me' look. The type of look that I always thought was sexy…and deadly at the same time.  
  
"Sit and eat!"  
  
We sat side by side and looked at our plate. After awhile Kennedy began to eat…I followed her. I was surprised when Buffy asked me something.  
  
"Faith…what made you escape prison?"  
  
I frowned not getting the meaning of her question.  
  
"Why? Don't you want me here? I thought you needed help…"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"No! It's not like that! It's just that…would you just answer the damn question!"  
  
Wow…I seldom hear Buffy swear. I wonder what's wrong. I looked at Kennedy and she just looked back at me. She shrugged and I looked back at Buffy who was waiting for my answer.  
  
"Well…Wesley visited me…"  
  
_'Not like some person I know that I've waited months and months to hear from!'  
  
_I frowned slightly as I thought about her not visiting me. It hurts…a lot.  
  
"…and well…he told me that Angelus is back. I guess that made me escape that boring place. I took a chair and broke the glass. I grabbed Wesley and jumped through the window of the second floor. We landed in a car…you should have seen him! He's shaking like a leaf when he got up. It's a good thing he didn't wet his pants!"  
  
Kennedy and I were laughing as I remember what happened. I really can't forget that scene when we jumped through the window. It was so much fun! I slowly stopped laughing as I looked at Buffy who had her head bowed down looking at her lap.  
  
_'Did I say something wrong?'  
_  
"B? You alright?"  
  
I was surprised when she immediately looked at me glaring.  
  
"It's that easy for you huh?!"  
  
I frowned at her.  
  
"Of course it's easy…I'm a slayer remember?"  
  
"Not that!! It's just easy for you to escape there with only mentioning Angel's name that he's in danger!!"  
  
Okay…still not getting her point.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
She suddenly stood up and slapped her hands on the table, still glaring at me.  
  
"Maybe I should've said that Angel was dying then maybe you would've escaped that shit hole sooner!!"  
  
I then stood up and leaned to her glaring and challenging.  
  
"Well you wouldn't say that because you were fucking busy saving the world to visit me!!!"  
  
"Of course I was busy to visit you!! I had the whole world in my hands! I'm not like you that so free to choose what you want!! I'm not the type of person that sleeps with some stranger just to satisfy their needs! I'm not the one that lacks trust in people that they couldn't even tell me that they slept with my best friend!! I'M NOT YOU!!!"  
  
The words she said were true…it hurts to bring back the past…but I was so angry to care.  
  
"Well I'm not you either!!! I don't go and order kids around and tell them what to do and not to do!! I'm not the person that doesn't know how to share her responsibility knowing that she's not alone anymore!!!! I'm not the person that keeps on telling others that 'I'm the ONLY and TRUE slayer and what I want goes!!!' And I'm also not the type of person that keeps on boiking the undead!!!!"  
  
Both of us stopped and began to pant. My glare slowly turned into a slight grin feeling hurt about what I heard yesterday…  
  
"I guess I was wrong…you weren't just busy saving the world…you were also busy fucking Spike to visit me…"  
  
I quickly walked out of the kitchen feeling the pain in my heart…the pain that seems to be growing.  
  
_'I knew being here again would be a bad idea…'  
  
_**Buffy's POV  
**  
'How did she know that?!'  
  
I frowned as I sat down the chair thinking of the things she said. All she said…was it all true? Was I ordering people around? I sighed as I thought of her words. I felt bad treating her like that. I didn't notice that there was someone inside besides me. The only time I notice was when she spoke up.  
  
"She slept with Xander…? You…slept with Spike...? How many times?"  
  
I looked up at her and glared at her. She stood up and backed away slightly.  
  
"Kidding…just kidding…"  
  
I watch her as she moved towards the door. She stopped for awhile then turned to me, her face serious.  
  
"You know…both of you DID sleep with another person…so what? It's in the past…keeping it in the present doesn't help. Forget about it."  
  
I bowed down my head looking at my lap. She's right…it's all in the past. The important thing is that she's here now. I heard her turn to the door and opened it. She didn't walk out…instead I think she glanced back at me and said…  
  
"Try to control your jealousy…it's bad in a relationship…"  
  
As she walked out of the kitchen I can't help but sink back into my thoughts. I felt bad…and guilty about saying those things to her…  
  
_**Faith's POV  
**_  
_'Fuck her!! Who does she think she is?! She asked a question and I just answered it! Then she just started throwing it in my face again! It's like…she wants to do everything her way!! Well…fuck her way!!'  
_  
I can't help but feel my anger building up inside me. It's like the dark side of me is slowly showing itself.  
  
_'I might lose control again…'  
_  
I sighed and tried to calm down. I heard the backdoor open and close and I couldn't help but look down. It was Dawn. She's looking around trying to find something...  
  
"Where did she go?"  
  
"Where did 'who' go?"  
  
She stepped back startled that someone spoke. She looked up and saw me sitting on the roof. She smiled.  
  
"There you are…what are you doing there?"  
  
I shrugged and looked away.  
  
"Trying to calm my nerves before I do something wrong again…"  
  
She looked at me her face full of worry. This kid really cares a lot about me…unlike her sister…  
  
"Want to talk about it?"  
  
I looked at her for awhile trying to think of what to do. Should I trust her? I grinned at her…  
  
_'I just gotta have Faith you know…'  
  
__**Buffy's POV  
**_  
After the whole yelling and shouting that was held in the kitchen, I got up and went to my room to take a shower. I'm really not worried about Faith. I know that she's still here in the house. I can feel her. As I walked up towards my room, I can't help but notice that everyone was looking at me…except for Kennedy who seems to ignore me. I guess they heard everything…  
  
_'I don't care…'  
_  
I went inside my room and got some things from my drawer deciding on taking a shower to clear my head.  
  
_'And think of a way to apologize to Faith…'  
_  
_**Faith's POV  
**_  
I got off of the roof and sat next to Dawn. I just looked ahead of me. I sighed and decided to get this conversation over with because I wasn't used to sharing…and trusting people.  
  
"So…what do you want to know…?"  
  
"It depends…on what you want to say…"  
  
I looked at her and raised my eyebrow.  
  
"Ok…I just wanna say…that you're sister is such a pain the ass!"  
  
She smirked and turns to look at me.  
  
"What made you say that?"  
  
"Well…First she asked me what made me escape prison…I told her the whole 'Wesley told me that Angelus is back' story. Then you know what she did?! She threw it at me saying that it's so easy for me…then the next thing I know…we were yelling at each other…"  
  
I sighed and hugged both my knees and buried my head on them.  
  
"You know…I thought she might be glad of what I did…I mean…I just saved the love of her life…I saved Angel…but NO…she just threw it on my face…she threw it hard…"  
  
Dawn didn't say anything for awhile. I was surprised when she did…her words seem so unreal…  
  
"I think the reason she said all those things was because…maybe she was…jealous."  
  
I looked at her, confused.  
  
"Jealous? Of who?"  
  
"Of Angel…"  
  
Again…confused…  
  
"Why would she be jealous of Angel? It's not like I leapt into his arms and ride a white horse and rode towards a beautiful castle where we will live happily ever after…"  
  
She giggled and I can't help but smile at what I said.  
  
"You know…I can't seem to imagine you and him doing that…"  
  
"Me too…"  
  
Yeah…me and Angel…yeah right! Were just friends…close friends. He was the only person who visited me. Him visiting me made my life a little bearable…makes me feel that I have a friend waiting for me once I got out of prison. I looked ahead and listened to Dawn trying to understand what she was saying.  
  
"Anyway…she's jealous of Angel because he was the reason that made you escape that place. Buffy probably thought that to you…Angel's life is more important than hers…"  
  
What?! That's so…so…right? If I had to choose between Buffy and Angel…who would I choose? I don't want to loose a friend…and I also don't want to loose a friend that means much more to me than my life even though I think that I could never have her. I think now that her little outburst was reasonable…but…  
  
"You must be kidding me…Buffy's jealous at Angel? That…that just doesn't sound right…"  
  
She shrugged and got up.  
  
"That's what I think…if you don't believe me or you're not sure…I think the best way to know is to…ask her yourself…"  
  
I watched her as she walked inside the house leaving me alone thinking of what she said.  
  
_'I hate thinking things like this! I think I need a smoke…'  
_  
_**Buffy's POV  
**_  
I took a quick shower and decided to go to the basement to check on Spike and ask him a few things. I slowly walked in the basement hearing grunts. I saw Spike hitting a punching bag. I watched him for awhile thinking of the thing that Faith said.  
  
_'Me…boiking the undead…'  
_  
"You should have told me you were visiting…I might have tidied up the place…"  
  
He turned slowly and grinned at me. I smiled at him and looked around.  
  
"Oh I don't know…I think you did a pretty goo-umph…"  
  
I wasn't able to finish my sentence as I felt his lips on mine. He laid his hand on my waist pulling me to him and his other hand was on my cheek. My hands were on his chest so it was easy to push him away…the only problem is…is that I was so shocked to push him. I did push him…when I heard her voice…  
  
"Hey Spike! Deadboy! You have any smo-…"  
  
I pushed him away and turn to look at Faith who had her lips open.  
  
"Faith…"  
  
That made her close her lips...she looked at me and scratched her hair looking embarrassed.  
  
"Oh…sorry…don't mind me…"  
  
She quickly ran towards the door…and I was right behind her. She got out of the basement and went towards the front door opening it. She was about to go outside when I grabbed her hand stopping her. She didn't turn her head to face me.  
  
"Faith…It's not what you think…I was just talking to him and then he suddenly…"  
  
"Kissed you…yeah I saw that but…"  
  
She turned to me and looked at me. I was angry at myself and at Spike when I saw her eyes. They were blank…no emotion was there. It's like the time when I went to her apartment to confront her on what happened to the deputy mayor. She didn't care…or rather…she closed off of her feelings. That's when I realized that I just lost her again. Her voice was the same…no feelings could be determined…  
  
"I don't think him kissing you or you kissing him don't concern me…It's not like were lovers or anything…were just…co-workers…we just work together…nothing more…"  
  
_'But I want more than that!!! And you too!!!'  
_  
Even if I yelled that to her…I know that she'll decline it. I've lost her…  
  
"Could you let go of me now? I want to buy some smokes…"  
  
I know that if I let her go…I might loose her completely…but I did…I let her go. I just stood there watching her leave…watching her leave because of me again…. 


	4. Vineyard

_**Chapter 4**_

_AN: My bad for not updating this story. Really don't know what to write. Luckily, watching some Buffy/Faith music vids kinda inspired me to write something. Hope you like it though! _

_**WARNING:** Major spoiler of the season 7 starting to where Faith came back to Sunnydale. Totally different though...this is what I wanted to happen in season 7._

_**Buffy's POV**_

Willow called me and says that the girl they found is waking up. I quickly went there and found some interesting information. We have a new enemy...and based from what the girl told me...this guy is no ordinary guy. I sighed and just sat at the waiting room area. So many things are happening now...so many weird things. Could I possibly defeat them?

'_Cmon Buffy! It's just not you involved here. You've got a key who's a pain in the ass sometimes...a watcher who's like a father to you...a witch who has some darkness issue...a construction worker who seems to be into sex all the time...an ex-demon who is also into sex all the time...a dorky guy who likes to video tape things...a vampire who has a thing for you...an army of girls who are potential slayers...and...and a slayer...an ex convict...your rival...your other half...'_

I sighed and looked at the floor thinking about Faith. She seemed so...different when she came back from 'buying cigarettes.' That was a couple of hours ago. She seemed...distant. It was like she had the 'don't touch or talk to me until I tell you too' aura. She was like her old self...without the evilness. Her eyes were back to where it was when she killed the deputy mayor. It was lifeless.

I guess I'm sacred again...scared that she might go back to her old ways and join the evil thingies. Then...I might end up fighting her again...maybe this time I might be the one who end up in a coma.

'_Oh God...I hope that event never happen again. I don't want to fight her. We should be working together...not fighting together. _

I covered my face with both my hands afraid that a déjà vu might come into play...again. Afraid to loose Faith again...

"Buffy...are you alright?"

I looked up and found Willow looking down at me with a worried face. I just smiled at her trying to cover up my feelings.

"Yeah...I'm alright. Just a little overwhelmed with what she told us about the big bad..."

She sat next to me and laid her hand on mine, squeezing it a little.

"It's alright...we'll figure out something to defeat it...like always."

I nodded and smiled looking at the floor again. I guess my smiling really doesn't cover about what was on my mind when she asked...

"This really isn't about the...big bad is it? Is it about Faith?"

My smile disappeared when she mentioned Faith. I just looked at the floor staring at it...hoping that this is just some dream and when I wake up...we're back to where Faith and I got along...before she got evil...

"Buffy...I assure you Faith is a changed person now. There no reason not to trust her..."

'_I'm afraid...afraid to trust her. Afraid that she might go evil again and betray me...afraid to loose this second chance to make peace with her and be her friend again...or...maybe more...'_

I didn't say that out loud...but that's what I kept on thinking. I just kept on staring at the floor listening to Willow talk.

"You know what Wesley told me when I got there in LA? That the Faith now is far more different than the Faith that he once knew, who was evil. She drugged herself in order to trap Angel. She used herself and made Angel drink her blood in order for the drug to take its effect. She was in a coma when she did that...both of them were. And well...somehow she was inside Angel's mind. She brought him back...brought him back to the person you fell in love with."

'_Faith...Faith did all that?'_

I frowned still looking at the This was really not the Faith I knew. This was a different Faith...a new Faith.

"She seemed so...I don't know...unFaith like. I never knew that she would do that for a vampire. I mean...from what you told me in the past...she didn't want to be fed to Angel when she poisoned him. And now...she didn't hesitate and just let Angel bite her. I guess she really wanted to bring back to his old self...I think she really cares about Angel to let him do that to her just to bring him back..."

Again jealousy was coursing through me again the moment she said, 'I think she really cares about Angel...' I frowned and stood up not looking at Willow.

"Buffy...I...I didn't mean to say it like that. I meant that...Faith cares about Angel in a friendly way...not the way you and Angel feel about each other. It's totally not like that. What you and Angel had was..."

I turned to her and smiled at the way she's babbling again.

"...in the past. And I think that's where it will stay now. Don't get me wrong...I do love Angel...but...I'm really not IN love with him. I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. And I really don't think about him anymore...not like in the past. He's my past...and definitely not my future..."

Yeah...he's not my future...I don't know who is...but I really hope my future is the one at home...my other half...

_**Faith's POV**_

I'm at the roof again...watching the sunset as I lay on the roof, listening to a damn walkman that I borrowed from Dawn. I don't know why...but music just seems to make me forget things...mainly a thing named Buffy. She's been gone for a couple of hours now, saying that she has to go to the hospital to see the girl that me and Red found. I don't give a damn about it anymore...her and Spike I mean. She can screw anyone she wants for all I care...

I frowned and looked for a station that might sound interesting. Soon enough...I did found something interesting. It's some station that's helping the callers about their problem with relationship. It always made me laugh to hear the different problems of people around. I listened to this crap once when I was in prison. We were playing cards when someone turned on the radio and this mumbo jumbo turned up. I couldn't help but laugh at some lame girl telling the DJ about his problem with his boyfriend. They really sound pathetic...

I turned up the volume and looked at the darkening sky smiling and smirking as I listened to the DJ speaking at the caller.

_**DJ: "Hello? What's your name?"**_

_**Caller: "Uh...Jason."**_

**_DJ: "It's rare to hear guys calling here..."_**

I couldn't help but smirk at the guy calling.

'_Probably because that's a fucking chick station dumbass! This Jason guy must be gay or something...'_

_**DJ: "So...Jason...what seems to be the problem?"**_

'_His problem is he's GAY!'_

_**Caller: "Well...um you see...I'm having problems with my girlfriend and well...I don't know whom to ask...and well...since this station seems to be...I don't know...girly...well I thought I could just ask here..."**_

I couldn't help but laugh when he said 'girly.' Kinda makes you think why HE...a GUY... is calling some girly station.

_**DJ: "I don't think our station is girly...it's for men and women..."**_

**_Caller: "smirks Yeah right...anyway...I got some really deep issue's with my girlfriend. Well...actually...ex-girlfriend. You see...we kinda broke up...and well...I can't seem to get her out of my mind. It's like when I was with her...I can't seem to stand being with her...being so bossy and all. And when...I'm not with her anymore...I can't stop thinking about her. I miss her...and well...I found out from a friend that...well...she has a boyfriend already. I can't get her out of my mind...what should I do?"_**

'_Geeez...this guy got it bad...I wonder if this guy is related to Red...he seems to be babbling too much...'_

The DJ didn't answer him at first...probably thinking of what he should say. If I were in that station I'd probably tell him to just get a grip and run away from the chick. That seems to be a good idea.

_**DJ: "Hmm...you really are in a serious problem. And I could only think of what to say to you... 'Fuck her and move on dude!'"**_

I burst out laughing at what I heard. This DJ ain't that bad after all...

**_DJ: "Find another woman! There are other fishes in the sea! Get a hold of yourself and just move on. If she doesn't want you then...just get another woman who will like you just the way you are! It's not like she's the only girl in the world! Surely there's someone whom you like other than her..."_**

_**Caller: "Well...I guess so..."**_

_**DJ: "Good...then ask her out already!"**_

_**Caller: "Uh...okay...um...thanks...I think."**_

_**DJ: "Good. Now for all you people who is in love with a bossy...self righteous chick who thinks that your world is at her feet and she could control you whenever she wants...I say just fuck em and ignore their bitchyness and move on."**_

Somehow...that Jason guy and I have the same problem. And I think this DJ guy is right...maybe I should just forget it...and move on.

_**DJ: "Now...is this station girly? Heh...don't think so! Anyway...here's a little music I'd like to dedicate to Jason...who's been blindly in love with a person that's totally not right for him. Hope you like it. It's called 'You're a God' by Vertical horizon..."**_

I just looked at the dark sky as I listened to the music. Somehow...I can relate my problems with it...kinda catchy...

_I've got to be honest  
I think you know  
We're covered in lies and that's OK  
There's somewhere beyond this I know  
But I hope I can find the words to say_

_Never again no  
No never again_

_'Cause you're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
That you would know  
You're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
I'd let you go_

_But I've been unable  
To put you down  
I'm still learning things I ought to know by now  
It's under the table so  
I need something more to show somehow_

_Never again no  
No never again_

_'Cause you're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
That you would know  
You're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
I'd let you go_

_I've got to be honest  
I think you know  
We're covered in lies and that's OK  
There's somewhere beyond this I know  
But I hope I can find the words to say  
Never again no  
No never again_

_'Cause you're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
That you would know  
You're a god  
And I am not  
And I just thought  
I'd let you go_

I can't help think of Buffy and her self-righteous attitude as I listen to the song. Brings back a hell lot of memories...

I sighed and closed my eyes for awhile. I quickly sat up when I felt a rock hit me on my arm. I frowned and took off the walkman and heard Dawn yelling.

"Faith!!! Get down here!!"

I sighed and jumped down right in front of Dawn. She was frowning and well...I can't help but notice the similarities that her and Buffy have. I grinned at her.

"S'up squirt?"

She sighed.

"Buffy wants a meeting in the living room. She says she wants you there."

Buffy's here already? I sighed and handed the walkman to Dawn thanking her. I slowly made my way upstairs...to the self-righteous chick named Buffy...

_**Buffy's POV**_

As we arrived I immediately asked for a meeting. Everyone was there...except for the potentials and Anya. Seeing that Faith was still not there I asked Dawn to get her. She nodded and walked towards the backyard. I sighed and sat down the couch as we waited for Faith. Soon enough she entered the living room. I just looked at her for awhile wondering what is on her mind. She looked at me and raised her eyebrow.

"Okay I'm here now. Care to start the meeting sometime before the silence kills me?"

I sighed as I found her voice to and sarcastic...so similar to the Faith I once knew. I stood up and looked at everyone and told them about the girl that Willow and Faith found...and her information about a man named Caleb who says that he has something that belongs to me. When I finished telling them...I just went ahead to what I'm planning to do.

"We need to start arming the girls. I wanna be ready to move when we find him."

Willow frowned.

"We don't even know where we're going."

"'S why I figured we'd do a little recon first."

I looked at Faith who was leaning at the wall with her hands crossed at her chest.

"You up for it?"

_**Faith's POV**_

"You up for it?"

I just looked at her for awhile with my eyebrow raised, confused at what she's asking.

'_She...wants to patrol with me? Why not go with Spike instead?'_

I just shook my thoughts away and shrugged.

"Point me where you want me."

Giles frowned and stepped forward...a little pissed off.

"And you're certain this is the best course of action? You don't even know what this man has of yours—if he, in fact, has anything."

I think he has a point there...I really think it's a trap...but it seems that I don't have say in this. I'm just here to lend a hand...nothing more. They don't give a damn about what I say...no one does. I looked at Buffy and she just looked at Giles trying to explain that it could be a potential needing our help. Giles just frowned.

"Could be a stapler."

I couldn't help but smirk at what he said. Buffy heard this and looked at me as if silently saying 'Your not helping!' I looked away from her and continue to listen to their argument.

"Going in anyway."

"With the girls? Most of whom have yet to be in the field, let alone in a life or death situation."

"Then it's time we test them. Look, I'll just take the ones that have been here the longest. The rest can stay behind."

Wow...Giles and Buffy seems to have a little problem with each other. I guess something happened between them. Soon Spike also joined the argument agreeing with Giles.

"Could be that's just what he wants you to do—the old bait-and-switch."

Willow nodded and looked at Buffy...pleading her silently to reconsider. I guess she's concerned about her girlfriend Kennedy...since she's obviously going with us.

"Yeah, he lures us away and then kills the girls we leave behind."

Buffy looked at Red and smiled a little...reassuring her that everything's going to be fine. But I think...everything's far from alright...

"I know. That's why I need you to stay here with them. You're my most powerful weapon, Will. I know you can keep them safe if anything happens."

Xander now also joins the argument. I feel kinda left out with nothing to say...just standing here and watching them argue for the first time. We're they just like this when they found out I had woken up in a coma. Was Buffy standing up for me telling them to give me a chance or...was she gritting her teeth and was cursing me for ever waking up. Probably the second one...

"An unknown man breezes into town, says he has something of yours. Buffy, this thing's got "trap" written all over it."

"He won't be expecting a full attack—not this soon, that's why we have to move."

'_Geez B...four against one and you're still fighting for what you believe...that's Buffy alright...stubborn...'_

Giles frowned still thinking that this plan of "HIS" slayer is a little...crazy.

"We know nothing about this man. We cannot go into battle unprepared. We have to have more time."

Buffy sighed and just head towards the door grabbing her coat as she looked at Giles and the others.

"Giles, we don't have time. And you're not going into battle. I need you to stay behind with the others. Help the girls who still need a teacher."

She looked at me and opened the door.

"Coming Faith?"

Now I felt everyone's eyes on me...looking at me to say something to Buffy and try to stop her. But I can't...my words won't stop her. If her best friends and lover can't...what the hell can I do? I'm nobody to her...I just shrugged and grabbed my jacket and headed outside with Buffy right beside me.

_**Buffy's POV**_

I couldn't wait to get out of there. I got this feeling that everyone just...doesn't trust me or something. Faith was the only one who didn't argue with me...or she was the only person who didn't say anything. I glanced at her trying to look at her face. She's quiet...like she's thinking of something. I sighed and continue walking towards the cemetery. Walking side by side with Faith...brings back memories. Nice memories.

I think I was too occupied with thinking of Faith that I didn't notice that she saw something walking ahead. She grabbed my arm to stop and pointed towards...a bringer

_**Faith's POV**_

We're following a...bringer from what Buffy told me yesterday. I frowned and just looked at it as it was heading somewhere.

"No eyes, but look at him go. He got SONAR or something?"

Buffy shrugged and continue to look at the bringer.

"Or something, I guess. Pretty good when they attack."

"Do they just roam free around town"

"Well, normally, they show up out of nowhere, and then either stab or get stabbed, and then they run off. Looks like this guy wants to be found."

Whoah...scary creatures. Maybe that's what is killing the potential slayers. I grinned.

"Lends weight to the whole "it's a trap" theory."

I looked at Buffy and she just frowned as we follow the bringer.

"I'm through waiting around for people to attack us."

"Hey, I'm with you. Drop me in the hornet's nest, what the hell? You got a rough sitch here, trying to turn a bunch of little girls into an army..."

"They're potential slayers, just like we were."

"Right. Maybe they'll do as good as us."

"They're getting better."

"I'll work with 'em. Some of 'em seem real eager. Fashion disasters, yeah, but they're ready to fight."

She suddenly stopped and turned to me looking confused.

"Why did you come back?"

I was taken back with her question that I frowned at her also confused.

"Willow said you needed me. Didn't give it a lot of thought. Do you—Am I getting you want me to be not here?"

She looked away from me and sighs.

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm...glad that you're here. It's good. Thank you."

She walked ahead and I just followed her scratching my head.

'_Buffy...thanking me...that's new.'_

I shrugged.

"No problem. You know me. All about the good deeds"

I glanced at her but she had this serious face. I was startled when she whispered so softly...

"Willow said you helped out Angel."

"Yeah. He says "Hi.""

"Really."

"Sure."

Another awkward pause. I glanced at her and she had her head bowed down a little.

"How is he?"

I knew she's going to ask that. Of course she will...it's the love of her life. But...this morning...Dawn said that she was jealous of Angel...I guess that's not true.

"Better. Had to do this whole magical mind-walk with him."

"You were in Angel's mind?"

The way she said it...it was more than a statement than a question. I sighed and just looked ahead looking at the bringer.

"Buffy..."

I stopped when I saw the bringer enter the weird looking barn house. I turned to her, frowning.

"What is this place?"

She shrugged and frowned looking at the house.

"Look, there's more of them."

Yep...I guess this is our destination. I sighed.

"I think we just found our hornet's nest."

She nodded and walked back, heading to where we came from. I followed her and frowned when she said.

"Let's get the cavalry."

I rolled my eyes having a really bad idea about what were going to do. I just hope that Buffy is right...that this isn't a trap.

'_I hope that whatever is inside there that belongs to her...isn't really a stapler...'_


	5. Alone

**Chapter 5**

_AN: I'm sorry for updating soooooo late. I was thinking whether to continue this story or not. I've decided to continue it knowing that some readers might want me to finish it. Hope you like it!_

* * *

_**Faith's POV**_

I'm waiting with B and Red in the hospital. Xander lost his eye in the vineyard and well…so many were injured and some died. I was injured as well but…I'll live. I looked up at Buffy who is sitting on the couch with her head bowed down slightly.

'_I guess she's feeling a little guilty about the whole thing…it was her idea.'_

I sighed and continue to lean on the wall with my arms crossed in my chest. Red was standing up walking around trying to wait for the doctors to come out. Dawn and Anya wanted to be here but…after a little yelling for Buffy to stay there and tend the injuries of the others well…they shut up and obeyed her. I think B's being a bitch. I mean Dawn and Anya only wanted to see how Xander is doing…but no…little miss uptight just yelled at them telling them to shut up.

You know when we were ambushed in the vineyard, I wanted to yell at B and tell her… 'Bad idea B! Should have listened to the scoobs!' But I didn't. I was too busy fighting the bringers not to mention that…that damn priest to care. I guess I also blame myself. Maybe if I said something in the meeting and stopped B with her crazy ideas…maybe just maybe…Xander would still have his eye and well…the potentials that died…just…wouldn't die.

Could I have possibly...stopped B from her plan? But I know she wouldn't listen to me…She didn't listen to Willow and Xander who was her best friends since I could remember…Giles who was like a father to her…and Spike who is surely her…lover. What could I have possibly have done knowing that I'm nothing to her? I'm just like a puppy to her that follows her around…and protects her. My words wouldn't reach her…

I shook my thoughts away as the doctor finally got out and walked towards us. Both B and I stood up and waited for the result.

"Are you relatives of Mr. Harris?"

B nodded and smiled a little.

"Yeah…we're his…cousins. How is he?"

The doc sighed and removed his glasses and cleaned them…much like Giles does.

'_I wonder if this guy is related to Giles…'_

He put it back on and frowned.

"He's fine…but I'm afraid he can't use his left eye anymore. What exactly happened to him that caused him to loose an eye like that?"

B and Red looked at each other and stammered for an answer. I just sighed and told doc the truth.

"Some freaks kidnapped him and well…tortured him."

"Oh God…we should call the police and inform them…so that they could get them and lock them up. It's dangerous for them to be lurking around…"

I shook my head and looked at him seriously.

"Nah it's okay. We already contacted the police and well…they caught them up. No need to panic anymore."

'_Yeah right…the police couldn't even get me if I haven't turned myself in…'_

The doc sighed and smiled a little. B and Red were looking at me with their eyebrow raised. I just kept on looking seriously though…I really wanted to grin at what I'm saying.

"I'm glad…those guys could be dangerous."

"You have no idea…anyway…how long will Xander stay here?"

"Oh…he can go now tomorrow evening if he wishes…until then maybe its best if someone stays here with him till he wakes up."

I nodded and the doc smiled and walked away. Red and B continue to raise their eyebrow at me. I frowned and raised my eyebrow back at them.

"What?! I did a lot better than you guys stammering and all…"

B rolled her eyes and turn to Willow who was looking at Xander's room.

"I'll stay with him. Faith…take Willow home so she can get so---"

"No…I think I'll stay here Buffy. Get some rest. You and Faith are the one's that's tired because of all the fighting. Just…take care of Kennedy for me."

She smiled a little and walked towards Xander's room leaving me and B to stare at her. B just sighed and looked at me.

"Do you want to get checked too?"

I frowned at her not getting what she's saying. I guess I didn't need to ask her what she's talking about as she pointed to the wall where I was leaning a couple of seconds ago. I looked at it and well…there was blood there. I touched my back and soon enough my hand had a blood in it. I guess that Caleb guy did a number on me. I just looked back at B and shrugged.

"Nah…I'll live. I've had worst wound than this…"

She looked at the floor for awhile looking sad and well…I think I know what she's thinking about. She's thinking about the time she stabbed me in the stomach. I sighed.

"B it's not what…"

She shook her head and looked at me again.

"Let's get back to the house…"

I looked at her for awhile and just nodded. I really have to keep my mouth shut. We walked side by side towards her house in silence. Neither one of us talked…

_**The Next Day…**_

Buffy and Giles are out of the house…I guess they went to see how Xander and Willow is doing. I think she didn't get much of a sleep…unlike me who slept like a baby. I guess I was really tired from fighting that priest. That damn priest is pretty powerful. If he and I were fighting one on one…I'd be dead by now. No wonder some of the potentials died.

'_I guess Buffy's lost her touch…or more likely her brain.'_

It was noon when Buffy walked inside the house with some files in her hands. Research she says…

'_Oh goody…just what I was waiting for to happen. My most favorite thing to do…read some dumb files and look for a way to defeat this Caleb guy.'_

I sighed and sat down the dinning table. Buffy quickly left saying that I should do some research and find something about Caleb. I didn't have time to react as she went outside again to God knows where. I started looking at some files and well…it's boring! Luckily Dawn helped me read some of it.

The potentials took a lot of time in the basement thanks to Anya. I think it was almost 6 in the evening when they got out of there with the potential groaning. Some of them went to the living room to wind up I guess. Me and Dawn decided to join them. That's where Giles came in and asked Spike and Andrew to go somewhere.

Spike was reluctant at first…coz he thinks it might be trap again to kill him. I couldn't blame him for hesitating but…it kinda surprised me to hear that Giles tried to kill someone. Well…not someone of course…I mean it's Spike…a vampire. I guess it's just natural.

I went in the kitchen and got myself some pastry in the box. It's labeled but…what the hell! Finder's keepers! I walked towards the living room with the box still in my hand. Andrew glared at me as they walked outside. I guess he's kinda sad about his pastry. Who cares…

"So, see? That's something, right? We'll have some news soon."

Dawn said as she smiles at the potential that looks like they just attended some burial or something. Amanda just shrugged saying…

"Sure. Maybe that'll get us somewhere."

I just kept on eating as I looked at the potentials. I kinda feel bad for them. I frowned as I looked at them looking gloomy.

"Maybe. In the meantime, the troops here gotta sit and stew, feeling crappier by the minute."

Dawn nodded and said something I've been dying for someone to say.

"We should keep them occupied."

I grinned at them and nodded.

"Yeah. I know how to keep them occupied."

_**Buffy's POV**_

'_Ugh…that guy really did a number on me…'_

I couldn't help but groan when I opened the door on my house. I was beaten by Caleb again who I didn't know was on the school. We talked, fight and eventually he made me unconscious for a little while. I decided to inform everyone of my new plan so I hurriedly went to the house. I was prepared to say something to the troops but stopped when I noticed no one was there but Giles. I frowned and walked towards Giles who was sitting by the dinning table sipping coffee.

"Buffy. Are you hurt?"

"Oh... Caleb came back looking for seconds."

"My God, is h-he…"

"Still able to make me see cartoon birdies all around my head? You betcha. The short lack of consciousness was nice. I feel rested. So...how did those police files work out? Were they helpful?"

I sat down and couldn't help but groan as I felt the soreness in my body. Giles took a sit next to me.

"Uh...uh... yes. Very much so, I think. Um... there's evidence that Caleb may have established a foothold up north."

"That's great. That's..."

"I, um... I sent Spike to look into it."

I couldn't help but look at him like he's crazy or something. He tried to kill Spike once…and I guess he's planning again to do that. I frowned at him as he clean his glasses.

"Spike? Is this a mission from which you intend Spike to return alive?"

"Yes. I sent Andrew with him."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Again I ask the question."

"Buffy, you weren't here. Decisions have to be made in your absence."

"Yeah, well, those are the ones that have been scaring me."

"I did what I thought was right."

Right? Is bringing me to life and ripping me from heaven, right? I wanted to scream that to him…but I couldn't. He just wouldn't understand…

"You sent away the one person that's been watching my back—again."

He stood up and frowned.

"We're all watching your back."

"Funny... that's not really what it feels like."

I stood up and slowly walked away.

"Buffy—"

I turn to him and frowned.

"Where did everybody go?"

"What?"

"Faith. The girls. Where are they?"

He began to shake his head looking at the floor.

"Um...Faith thought that the girls could do with some time off their studies. I—I thought...She took them to the Bronze."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

'_Oh God…I have a bad feeling about this…'_

_**Faith's POV**_

I started to sway towards the music finally letting myself go. It's the first time in years that I danced. The last time I think is when me and B went out…the day I killed Finch…

I shook my head as I recall the painful memories three years ago. I excused myself from the guy I'm dancing and decided to join the potentials. Some of them were drinking and were still underage. Being the reformed slayer that I am…I stopped them from drinking and told them to just drink a soda or something. If I would have been the girl three years ago, I wouldn't mind them drinking. I guess I just want B to see that I'm responsible and all…that underneath my bad ass attitude…I can also be like her…a self-righteous chick…

I sighed and felt someone tap me on the back. I slowly turn to look at the person and frowned when I saw three cops looking at me.

"We're gonna have to ask you to come with us, miss. Outstanding warrants."

I kept my cool trying so hard not to show how scared I am to go back to jail. If I go back to jail now…I'd probably spend the rest of my life there since I did escaped. And what kind of person would want to spend the rest of their lives in a stinking cell? I may be reformed…but I'm not stupid…

"Yeah, or we could try this one on instead. How 'bout you guys buy me another drink, and we see where the evening takes us."

He didn't listen and just grabbed me by the arm and puts it behind me shoving me towards the exit. The potentials and Dawn seemed alarmed at what's happening and is going to fight back to help me. I looked at them.

"It's cool. I got it. It's nothin'. Get—get off me."

"Shut up."

Some guy closed the door when the rest of the officers shoved me outside. I struggled to get free…but finding it hard which made me think if they're really human…

"I tell you right now, I'm not goin' back to jail."

I manage to get out from his grip and quickly walked towards the entrance to see if the potentials are okay. I was blocked by one of the officers who grinned at me.

"Who said anything about jail?"

I turn to the other two and frowned when they held out their shotgun at me. The next thing I know I'm lying on the ground as they continue to beat me up. I manage to kick a guy on the ankles that made him fall down. I quickly got on my feet and fight the other two. I continue to fight back but then I ended up on the ground again. I heard the door open and thanked the potential when they fought the officers who were ganging me up. I managed to get on my feet again and grabbed the nearest officer to me and knocked him off. I looked around and saw that all the officer were knocked down. I looked at the potential, grinning. I was about to thank them when, she arrived.

"Faith! What are you doing?"

What? No 'I'm glad you're alright'? My grin slowly faded when I saw the way she looked at me. She's obviously pissed. I shrugged feeling the soreness on my shoulder.

"Just blowing off steam. Well, it started that way. Turned when the cops went evil on us."

Buffy looked around and noticed Dawn and the others.

"Girls, go home. I need to talk to Faith for a minute."

Dawn tried to stop her from 'having a talk' to me, but general B is one hell of a chick when she gets mad. When she says something…she really does it…no matter how much you beg her not to. That's one of her trade mark as Buffy…

"Dawn— you, too. Go."

Dawn sighed and decided to follow B's decision. I pity her sometimes. It's as if B isn't her sister anymore. She always treated Dawn as if she was one of the potentials. I always thought that having a sister means that you get to have a second best friend…you know…where you do a lot of girl stuff. Sure you argue a lot…but that's a trade mark that both of you are sisters. I can't seem to see that to B and Dawn…

Once everyone is gone she turned to me, glaring. It's much like the time in my apartment when she gutted me.

"What is this?"

"They needed a break, all right? They've been running themselves into the ground. Things just got out of hand."

"Taking a break is one thing—I get blowing off steam—but they were fighting. And those girls were drunk! What were you thinking?!"

I frowned still not getting her point.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Yeah, what if someone had gotten hurt?"

"They didn't."

"Faith, I need to know that these girls are gonna be safe when I'm not around."

"No one got hurt, B. Look, you don't even know these girls. Maybe you should have a little more confidence in 'em, let them mess up sometimes, you know, get down and dirty. How the hell else are they gonna learn?"

"Learning from your mistakes is one thing. But you don't throw children into—"

I shook my head.

"They're not children."

"That really isn't the point."

She started to walk away but I suddenly felt that I didn't want her to win this argument. I did what I shouldn't have done. I stepped over the boundaries…I went to far…It's much more like the old Faith…the Faith that I don't want to bring back anymore…The Faith that I wanted to erase…

"Yeah, what about the vineyard?"

She stopped and turn to look at me, frowning. I kept on chanting 'shut up' in my head…but I couldn't stop…I couldn't stop hurting her…

"How safe were they when you dragged them off to meet Caleb? How safe was Rona or Amanda or Molly?"

She walked towards me and surprised me when she punched me on the face which made me crouched down on the floor. I held the place where she punched me and looked at her back as she continue to walk away leaving me alone…

'_Alone…that's the way it should be…'_

_**Buffy's POV**_

I was so angry at Faith for what she said that I punched her on the face. I know I shouldn't have but…she shouldn't have said that too. Punching her like that…it feels like we're back to square one again.

'_Whoever said that we left square one?'_

I know she was just trying to ease the tension that's building within the potentials. That she was trying to calm them. I guess I overacted. I was just so…worried that they might get…hurt.

'_Argh! Who am I kidding?! I'm just worried for her!'_

I stopped walking and looked at the ground thinking.

'_I'm worried because…she might do something that might make her disappear from me again. That maybe this time…she might never get back. I don't want her to go to jail again. I want her to stay beside me… I mean for God's sake! She was fighting policemen! She might get arrested!'_

I sighed and looked back thinking that I shouldn't leave her alone. After some inner conflict whether or not I should go to her and make her understand. The other side won though. The 'I should check the potentials first and Faith later' decision. With that thinking I walked towards the house again still thinking of Faith…

_**Faith's POV**_

I was feeling crappy that I decided to buy some smokes. The guy selling them looked at me curiously seeing the bruise on my cheek. I looked at him trying to look pitiful.

" sniff M-my…husband did this to me…"

I held my face on my hands trying to look like I'm crying. He seems to buy it and started caressing my back.

"I… sniff h-he took all my money…my children…everything!"

I pulled some coins in my pocket and put them in the counter.

"Th-This is all I've got left…I'm sorry…"

I faked my cry harder and he really seem to buy it. He nodded and told me to keep my money and lend me the cigarette that I'm buying for free. What really surprised me is when he gave twenty dollars. I thanked him and slowly made my way outside. Once outside the store…I couldn't help but laugh at the gullible guy in the store. I think doing that made me forget about B for awhile.

I quickly found myself in front of B's front door. I hesitated for awhile thinking that she might…do something again. I took a deep breath and opened the door preparing for a massive of glares and angry looks that B might give my way. I noticed someone staring on the kitchen and I know instantly that it's her. I didn't look at her though and made my way towards the living room where the potentials are. Dawn saw me and quickly made her way towards me giving me a hug.

"You're alright…I was gonna check the hospital when Buffy didn't say anything…"

I pulled her away from me and smiled. She noticed the bruise on my cheek and touched it slightly which made me wince.

"Faith…you should put some ice in that…"

"Nah…it's not that bad. It'll heal…don't worry bout it…"

She frowned and I quickly changed the topic.

"So uh…what are you guys doing here? Ain't getting some sleep?"

Kennedy sighed and looked at me.

"Well…we're having a meeting. Willow, Anya and Giles went to the hospital getting Xander…and Wood's still not here so…I guess were in waiting duty…"

I smirked.

"That's kinda a pain in the ass huh?"

They nodded which made me grin.

"I could wait with you guys but…waiting just ain't my thing. I'll wait in the porch."

I slowly opened the front door to go inside when I heard her voice.

"Faith…"

I didn't turn to look at her…so I couldn't see the anger in her eyes. I don't know what to say…so I didn't say anything and just walked outside closing the door. What would I say to her? That my stupid mouth took over making me say those stupid things? Yeah right…

I sat down on the porch and lighted the cigarette that I got. I stared ahead thinking of what I would do once this is all over… It only took 10 minutes of thinking when I heard footsteps. A black man looked at me frowning slightly.

"The big meeting hasn't started yet, has it?"

"God, I hope so."

"Faith?"

"You must be Principal Wood. Heard a lot about you."

"It hasn't really started yet, has it? 'Cause I, uh... I hate being late."

What the hell is this guy's problem? So what if he's late? He's like the opposite me when it comes to a meeting…which is I'm always late…

"Troops are still gathering. I think you're safe."

He looks at me closely and saw my bruise on my cheek.

"Looks like someone banged you up pretty well."

"Yeah. Cops. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Yeah. This one's from someone who just thinks she's a cop. It's my favorite of all my current bruises."

I pointed the big bruise on my cheek was I think is still swelling.

"So someone who thinks she's a cop, huh? You gonna have to, like...ice her now or something like that?"

Ice? This guy is kinda funny…

"I'm not gonna kill her. Wanted to, but didn't. By the way, bully for me since no one else said it."

"For what? For not killing Buffy?"

"It's this new thing I'm tryin'."

"She told me about you."

Probably about how I'm a slut and an untrusting person…

"Believe every word."

"So what changed? I mean... why didn't you fight back?"

What changed? Everything…from realizing that what I did was wrong…to realizing what I felt for someone I can never have…

"Other things matter more."

"I think you're worried about her."

I couldn't help but smirk and look at him like he's crazy or something…

"I think you need to brush up on your Buffy and Faith history."

"All right, if you say so. But I read people pretty well. It's a thing I do."

I threw my cigarette on the grass and looked at him.

"You, uh, live around here, right?"

"Uh, no, not exact— Well, it's the center of town, really."

"This town, walking anywhere after dark is like an extreme sport. Someone who didn't know you very well might think you were out lookin' for a fight or something. Maybe you got bigger issues than what's wrong with B. I read people, too…"

I couldn't help but grin at his reaction. It's like all I said was true. He didn't try to deny it which made me believe that it is true. A car suddenly stopped into the driveway.

"Xander's home."

_**Buffy's POV**_

After welcoming Xander…which is not really what I call the best welcoming ever. I think it could go to the worst welcoming ever category. Well…after that I discussed my new plan which involves getting back in the vineyard. Something is in there…and Caleb seems to be protecting it…

Everyone seemed to be against what I'm planning. It's like their doubting me or something.

"I—I don't understand this. For 7 years, I've kept us safe by doing this— exactly this, making the hard decisions. And now, what— suddenly you're all acting like you can't trust me?"

More yelling telling me that my plan is not right. Even Willow seemed to be against my plans…

"With everything that's happened, I—I'm worried about your judgment."

"Look, I wish this could be a democracy. I really do. Democracies don't win battles. It's a hard truth, but there has to be a single voice. You need someone to issue orders and be reckless sometimes and not take your feelings into account. You need someone to lead you."

Anya frowned and stood up.

"And it's automatically you. You really do think you're better than we are."

"No, I—"

"But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy. But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us."

We continue to argue on the plan and I said I'm willing to listen to their suggestion. They didn't listen though and even appointed Faith as the new leader saying that she's a slayer too. She shook her head and her eyes went wide.

"What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. So not what I meant. I'm not in charge chick. I think B here needs to just...chill out for a little bit, take a siesta or something. But I'm not the one you want."

Kennedy was suggesting about the voting which made me mad. I don't know why…but having the idea of Faith being the leader makes me mad. It's like she's taking away everything that I've worked hard for. I seem to forgot the feelings I felt for her and just felt the anger that I felt three years ago when she betrayed me…

"No. You don't get to vote until I've had my chance to pal around, you know, get everybody drunk. See, I didn't get this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair—"

"Learn their names?"

"You're just lovin' this, aren't you?"

"You have no idea what I'm feeling."

"Come in here, take everything that I have... You did it before. Did you tell them that? Did you tell them how you used to kill people for fun? Hey, you guys think that's nifty?"

Oh God…this isn't me anymore. It's like I've transformed into someone…and I couldn't stop. I was silently thankful for Giles who told me to stop because he knows I'm going too far…

Faith seemed affected and frowned at me.

"I didn't come here to take anything away from you, but I'm not gonna be your little lapdog, either. I came here to beat the other guy, to do right, however it works. I don't know if I can lead. But the real question is...can you follow?"

That's when everyone agreed that Faith should be the leader. Even Dawn who asked me to leave was against me. My very own sister…

I looked around for awhile noticing their glares at me. The only once who weren't glaring was Willow, Xander and…Faith. I sighed and grabbed my coat and quickly headed outside to be followed by Faith.

"Hey. Look, I swear I didn't want it to go this way—"

"Don't."

"I mean it, I—"

"Don't...be afraid to lead them. Whether you wanted it or not, their lives are yours. It's only gonna get harder. Protect them, but lead them."

I looked at Faith despite the tears that's falling down my eyes. It just hurts to be left out by your own family and friends…

She nodded and hesitated for awhile until she opened the door and walked inside leaving me alone…in the dark feeling helpless…

* * *


	6. Determination

**Chapter 6**

* * *

**_Buffy's POV_**

Oh God…Faith!

I ran as fast as I could knowing that Faith led the troops in the cellar again. I held on tight on the brand new weapon that I'm holding feeling it's power.

'_I just hope this power is enough to end this…'_

I stopped breathing heavily and gasped when I saw smokes come out of the cellar. A few girls getting out…but…there's no Faith. I grabbed a girl nearby holding another girl who is clearly injured. Faith was right…I should've learned their names.

"Are you alright? Where's Faith?"

She nodded.

"Kennedy and the others are looking for her down there."

I nodded and told them to help the other injured girls. They followed my orders without hesitation. Looks like I'm back to being a leader.

I quickly went inside amazed that the place was still standing what with the blast and all. I can't see a thing with the smoke and dust everywhere…but…it doesn't stop me from looking for Faith.

"Kennedy! Faith!"

"Over here!"

I turned towards Kennedy's voice. She and some other girl were carrying Faith while others were walking behind them. I quickly made my way towards them and felt tears form in my eyes as I saw Faith's injured state.

"I-Is she?"

"She's alive…barely…"

I nodded and glanced at my left as I saw something move. I gripped the weapon knowing what was heading towards us.

"You okay on carrying her?"

"Yeah…"

"Good…because there are things lurking around here. We're leaving…fast."

The girls seem alarmed at this and began to head out. I killed some swinging the weapon in my hand knowing that my first priority is to save everyone.

It took us a few minutes to get back in the house. I helped tend the wounds of others ignoring the thoughts in my head that I should go upstairs…to Faith.

'_No…others are injured too…not just Faith…'_

"You can check on her you know…I'm sure they'll understand…"

I frowned as I bandaged Kennedy's arm.

"I'm needed here…I don't want to focus on only just one person knowing that the others are injured too."

"So you're a leader first…then a woman in love second…"

I was struck by what she said that I stopped bandaging her arm. I don't want to be a leader first…

"Then go to her…"

I looked up at Kennedy and she gave me a small smile.

"I can take care of this…just go to her."

I nodded and took the first aid kit. Without a second thought, I quickly head upstairs.

'_Is Willow giving Kennedy lesson in mind reading? Because if she is…I'm going to have to tell her to stop…'_

**_Willow's POV_**

'_Whew…finally everyone's patched up…'_

"Ow! I cut my finger!"

Andrew screamed as he looked at his bleeding finger. He's looking at me like I'm going to give him the Willow-the-nurse treatment. I pushed the first aid kit to him.

'_Yeah right'_

I sat beside Kennedy who smiled at me.

"Not going to help him with his fatal wound?"

I shrugged.

"He'll live. Besides…I want some time with my girlfriend."

Her eyes lights up whenever I call her that. Well she is my girlfriend and I could help but smile at her with that thought.

"Hey Willow…how's Faith doing?"

Dawn asked and I turned to look at her.

"Still unconscious. Buffy's upstairs checking up on her. You should keep her company."

She snorted and I can't help but frown at what she said.

"Yeah right…and I'm sure Buffy will appreciate that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well she's upstairs with Faith…"

I don't get it.

"Alone?"

Still don't get it.

"She's upstairs alone with Faith."

"So?"

She rolled her eyes and Kennedy smirked beside me. What is it? I don't get it. Was there a joke somewhere?

"You really are clueless aren't you?"

I hate to admit it…but I am. And I think Dawn is going to enlighten me as to what I'm clueless about. I just hope it's nothing bad…

_**Buffy's POV**_

"Faith…"

I sat at the edge of the bed looking at her face. There are a few bruises in her face which I know will fade in a few hours. She's still unconscious…and it scares me.

'_I just hope she doesn't fall in to another coma…I can't take that.'_

I had an urge to move closer to her, so I did. I caressed her cheek feeling its softness. I continue to stare at her face. Her eyes…I want to see them. See that soulful eyes of hers that she always tries to hide. I want to see them light up…just like when we danced at the Bronze. Tears suddenly began to form in my own eyes.

"Faith…please wake up…"

She whimpered and I eagerly waited for her eyes to open. It didn't. Instead, she began whimpering, tossing her head slightly, frowning.

'_She's having a bad dream…'_

Without thinking, I laid down beside her and pulled her towards me, holding her.

'_I was so close in loosing her…again…' _

I pulled her closer smelling her slight fragrance with a tinge of smoke in her hair. I tried to comfort her, assuring her that everything's ok just to make her stop whimpering. I kissed her forehead and brushed some tears that's falling from her eyes.

"Shhh…it's ok…I'm here…I'm not going to leave you…ever…"

"M-mom…"

She whispered softly and I can't help but remember my own mom. How she consoles me like this whenever I've had a bad dream…then she sings to me and I fall back to sleep feeling that I'm not alone.

I smirked.

"You'll regret this…"

I kissed her forehead again and caressed her cheek.

_I wake up in the morning  
Put on my face  
The one that's gonna get me  
Through another day  
Doesn't really matter  
How I feel inside  
'Cause life is like a game sometimes_

_But then you came around me  
The walls just disappeared  
Nothing to surround me  
And keep me from my fears  
I'm unprotected  
See how I've opened up  
Oh, you've made me trust_

_Because I've never felt like this before  
I'm naked  
Around you  
Does it show?  
You see right through me  
And I can't hide  
I'm naked  
Around you  
And it feels so right  
_  
_I'm so naked around you  
And I can't hide  
You're gonna see right through, baby_

Somehow…she seems to have calmed down. Mom's method really works huh. I smiled and snuggled in her neck feeling the warmth of her body.

'_So unlike Angel's and Spike's…and also Riley…'_

I smiled and closed my eyes feeling my tired body taking over me. This is what it should be…

'_I'm Faith's woman first…and a slayer second…'_

_**Willow's POV**_

_**  
**_"See…I told you…"

Dawn whispered as I watched my bestfriend, snuggle with her former arch rival. I couldn't believe it.

I grabbed Dawn's hand and led her downstairs carefully not disturbing their moment.

"You so owe me!"

"Alright…but…how long have you…?"

"Known?"

I nodded curious at her answer. She grinned at me.

"Since the beginning…"

'_Huh?'_

_**Faith's POV**_

'_Warm…'_

"Faith?"

'_Huh? Who's calling me? Still…warm…'_

"Faith…are you awake?"

The warmth that I felt beside me suddenly fades making me mumble out in protest in order for it to stay. But I can't feel it anymore…

"Faith."

'_It's…It's Buffy's voice…'_

"B-Buffy?"

I slowly opened my eyes and wasn't surprised to see Buffy's smiling face as she looked down at me. Her eyes…it's shinning…is she crying?

"Faith…thank God…"

I looked around noticing I'm in her room.

'_How did I get here? The last thing I remember…'_

My eyes went wide as I remember everything. The cellar…the potentials…the responsibility…the bomb…

'_Oh God…the explosion!'_

I quickly sat up surprising B with my sudden movement. I couldn't help but groan. My whole body hurts…

"It's not surprising…you barely made it in that explosion…"

'_Must've said that out loud…'_

I gritted my teeth ignoring the pain.

"The girls…are they?"

Her face changed from happy to sadness in a few second. Then she gave me a small smile. Her eyes telling me it's alright…and I know that it's not…

"Most of them are injured…"

"And the rest…?"

I don't need to ask…It's written all over her face…

"Some died…"

Figures…the first time I lead them, they ended up hurt and dead. I am only a side kick after all…I'm not cut out to be head girl. Who am I kidding to think that I could lead a whole army of slayers wannabe.

"Hey it's ok…"

B said as she placed her hand on mine.

'_Is it really?'_

"I'm going to show you something…"

She squeezed my hand and just as I was about to squeeze back, she stood up and got something from the far side of the room. It's a red shiny weapon…looks kinda like an axe or something…

"Caleb was hiding this…so I took it. Looks like he's scared of it…"

She handed it to me and was surprised with the power that I felt.

"You feel it too, don't you?"

"Damn. And damn, that's something."

"I know."

"It's old. It's strong, and it feels like... like it's mine…"

I gripped the weapon and sighed, placing it beside me.

'_Who am I kidding…it can never be mine…'_

"I guess that means it's yours."

"It belongs to the slayer."

She said frowning.

"Slayer in charge, which, I'm guessing, is you."

She sits back on the edge of the bed and looked at the weapon and then back at me.

"I honestly don't know. Does it matter?"

"It never mattered to me. Somebody has to lead."

I sighed and couldn't help but grin at her.

"Let's vote for Chao-Ahn. It's harder to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English."

She chuckled and smiled slightly.

"It wasn't your fault."

I sighed and looked away from her feeling a bit guilty with what happened.

"I'm really not looking for forgiveness."

"You're not?"

I shrugged.

"What do you want me to say? I blew it."

Again her hand found mine trying to comfort me with what I did. I guess I'm going to add another Faith-fucked-up-file in my head. Another reason to hate myself…great.

"You didn't blow it."

I looked up at her feeling the anger within me. I wasn't angry at her…I was angry at myself…and she knows it.

"Tell that to those girls who…"

"People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death."

I sighed defeated knowing that at some point, she's right. Somehow…I understood what's it like to be her.

I looked at where our hands are feeling her caress the top of my hand with her finger. It somehow comforts me…like I'm not alone…like she's telling me that she's here with me.

I couldn't help but chuckle sadly.

"So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner."

She smiled.

"That's the funny part? Did I miss something?"

"I'm trying to—"

"Sorry. Sorry. Go."

"No ties, no buddies, no relationships...well, Robin kissed me and asked me out…Boy's got guts."

It's true…he did kissed me after the whole First visit and fucking my brain. I was surprised when first we were talking and then he suddenly kissed me and I let him. After that he asked me out which I was surprised. I guess he liked me. Who wouldn't! Oh…her…

I couldn't help looking at Buffy. She looked shocked. Her hand stopped caressing mine…and she stood up…pacing.

"Principal Wood? And you?"

I raised my eyebrow confused of her reaction. I can't seem to read her. She's somewhat, shocked…pissed like I stole something…and…is she jealous? Probably of me. Is she and Wood…?

"Don't tell me you two got wriggly."

She stopped pacing and now she looked kinda…sad. Was she expecting a relationship with Wood? Maybe I should back out of him…

"No. No. No, no. We're just good friends. Or mortal enemies, depending on which day of the…was that the funny part?"

'_Now she sound tired. Damn B…I can't read you…'_

"OK. The point. Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life."

"Yeah."

"And that's you every day, isn't it?"

Even with the whole body swap…I didn't understand what's it like to be Buffy. Maybe because I was so focused on ruining her life back then. But then again…that experience made me realize what's it like to be me. How lonely it is to be me. That somehow we're so alike and so different at the same time…I finally saw me. Faith Lehane…

"I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer."

She looked down looking all sad and I wanted to somehow comfort her. But I can't…because…I'm nothing to her…

"There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together."

"Also, you went evil and were killing people."

She grinned and I nodded. There was no hate in her words…just acceptance.

"Good point. Also a factor."

"But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share."

"And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers."

"Takes the edge off."

"Comforting."

She nodded and I couldn't help but grin. My grin started to fade when our eyes locked. I'm trying to read her…but I just can't. So many things seem to be in her eyes. One emotion does stand out…determination.

She sat back at the edge of the bed not taking her eyes off me. I couldn't help but swallow feeling nervous in her intense gaze. Her voice soft when she started speaking…

"We can't share it to anybody…only the two of us can feel it."

Somehow…I don't think she's talking about being a slayer anymore. Both of her hands took mine and squeezed it.

"Do you feel it?"

I swallowed yet again listening to voices in my head. One was telling me to look away…the other telling me to give it a chance. Could I really? I feel so lost in her gaze. I can't look away…and I know neither can she. So I guess…that takes care of voice number 1.

I smiled slightly at her as I told her in full honesty the answer to her question.

"It's all I ever feel…I tried to stop it…but I just can't…"

She gave me her beautiful smile. Her eyes shinning. Did I do that?

"I want to share it to you…only to you…"

Again I feel lost in her eyes. I can see her pain…her suffering…her joy…her sadness…and a lot more in her eyes. Tears are forming in her eyes…and from the way she's holding my hand I can tell she's trying not to cry as she waits for my reply…

* * *

**_AN: Look! A cliffy! _**


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